“There’s this phenomenon of fans who become very proprietary, not just about the objects of their fannish-ness, but also their status in the fandom,” she says. “They always want to be the one who had the inside story, the inside contact, the latest cutting edge stuff about the show or the actors. There’s almost a need to be an object of famousness themselves.”

For those who have read my previous Finnish-inspired Fandom posts, which generated some hate from the types of people the quote above refers to, I thought I’d share an interesting article from AfterElton.com by Brent Hartinger. Click here to read the full piece

Heading back to the world of science fiction before returning with the comedy run (mainly because I made a shitload of notes and haven’t went through them yet) my Enterprise mini-rant inspired me to look towards the leaders in sci fi. The men who are often the central focus of the show, the decision makers and the men who sit in the big chair (if they get a chair) making all the tough choices.

Oh yes, the captains. Thinking of Enterprise and how Captain Archer seemed weak, uninspiring and so downplayed that he bored my super-sexy Batman pants of me, I began to think of all those characters which were truly captivating through the writing, the performance and transitioned from being mere characters on a screen, to men of legend.

It’s a tough choice. But much like Marty Michael’s Top Ten Sci Fi Heroes these choices are based on my view (as always really, my site and all that) and oddly, we have two of the same men in the list. Enough babble. Kicking off with number five…

Kicking off at number five, we have…

Most importantly, the reason he’s on a non SW fans list is that he’s portrayed by Indiana Jones himself; Harrison Ford. Unlike Mark Hamil, Ford was cool. so cool that he outshines Luke Skywalker in every way and became the icon for all the young men who wanted to be just like him.

He’s also got a big hairy man slave.

Mal Reynolds is captain of the Serenity, an old cargo ship with a crew desperate enough to work for him as they live out a life of crime, struggling to survive as they live outside the controlling government. Mal once tried to fight that government in civil war and found himself on the losing side in a battle which he’s not overly bitter about, his side lost and he’s keeping out of their way. There’s no great plan, or mission of morals with Mal. Nor is there any malice in any crime he commits. He’s just a man trying to get by.

He’s not all about robbing and shooting people either. He’s somewhat of a nice guy which showed when he defended a brothel against an angry sheriff type for little reward, helped an Alliance captain against Reavers and helped an old war buddy when he found himself in peril. When it comes to the Serenity spin off movie he shows some more kindness when he realises he can’t turn his back on troubled young River, the sister of his ships doctor which again finds him up against the Alliance once again as an Agent tracks River down for knowing too much.

It helps that he’s portrayed by Nathan Fillion, who not only has wonderful comedic timing that works incredibly well with a Joss Whedon project, but he has a wonderful presence that makes him watchable in any role.

Out of all the Next Gen era of Trek captains, Sisko had a lot more going on. From his initial struggles to calm the people of Bajor when he takes command of their only outpost after they were occupied by Cardassia, to his reluctance to accept the role as their Emmisary to the Prophets due to obvious conflicts it causes with his government, to raising Jake in an unsafe enviroment and eventually heading to war with the Dominion, Sisko seemed to have a lot on his plate in comparison to other captains who pretty much had no social life. Yet Sisko carries on, makes friends and enemies and at times, controversial decisions.

Far away from the comfortable bridge of Captain Picards Enterprise and the bizarre calm office of Captain Janeways lost Voyager, Sisko seems to grow and change through the seasons, gaining a more commending presence over his crew through the war, breaking the rules and creating situations to bring in allies and even putting his own girlfriend in prison when she aids a terrorist group.

Lets look at Picards evolution through seven years of the Next Generation; Cup o’ tea, cup o’ tea, almost got shagged, cup o’ tea.

Exactly.

When the colonies were attacked and the fleet collapsed, Adama found himself on the last known Battlestar left and with the forced advice of the new president, did a runner with the remaining civilians before leading them on a quest to find the mythical 13th tribe, colonists who left centuries past for a planet called Earth.

This role couldn’t be played by anyone but the acting powerhouse that is Edward James Olmos. Through the four years of BSG we saw Adama’s highs and lows. Not just the public figure who was a strong leader, but the man who would break down and cry when things got tough, who struggled to maintain a relationship with his only surviving son, protect his dead sons ex fiancee and struggle to do the right thing. Often making bad choices and finding himself on the verge of giving up.

Adama’s faith was tested more than most in sci fi and two of his greatest moments showed a truly loving connection to his command. One is where he free’d the doomed colonists of New Caprica which left his ship in ruins before he accepted the fate that he and his ship were ready to die. Until Lee Adama jumped in for the save…

The other came when his ship finally did pack in. All the abuse from the Cylon attacks in both wars had left the ship in tatters. When it was time to move his flag elsewhere, he snapped. Everything he’d been through piled up hit him hard and we saw the brave, commanding Admiral curled up in a ball crying his eyes out over everything he’d lost.

How many of our heroes had such emotion? And how many of them seemed stronger for it? More importantly, how many of them could pull of that ‘stache?

Through the run of Star Trek, Kirk was bold, dashing, courageous, clever and while his right hand man, Spock, gained more fan mail, Kirk got all the girls on the show. When the movies hit the big screen, we saw this character evolve. At first into a man who had given up his life of adventure for a desk job and hated it. But it wasn’t until the far superior sequel, The Warth of Khan, that we saw this older Kirk become something new when the aging Admiral found himself in a battle against an old adversary and the character was reborn.

Shatner’s legendary Kirk survived another five Star Trek films, getting killed off in Generations, and has remained an icon. Although Shatner’s become a self aware self parody, he’s still awesome.

When Star Trek was brought back to the big screen with a new cast and new direction, it was no surprise that they opted to go back to day one. While Picard, Sisko and Janeway (not so much Archer) had their fanbase, not one of them matched up to Jimmy T.

Honorable mentions go to Commander Sheridon of Babylon 5, Colonel Jack O’Neil and despite hims not really being a captain… The Doctor (hey, he has a ship!)

Disagree? Have someone better in mind? Say something.

Before I say anything, if you read the last workshop blog you’ll know about a little project. The inventor of that project (I don’t think inventor is the correct term, but fuck it – this is my site. Deal with it) has started up a blog right here on TPM. Click here for Gary; Creator of creations. That’s not the blog name – I’ve been drinking.

Anyway, Enterprise… I recently picked on this show once again on GBBS. Why? Because it’s a huge gaping hole of disappointment. It’s as disappointed as lusting over Paris Hilton, thinking she’d make a great woman to stick your pee pee into then seeing her sex tape and realising even with a penis in her, she’s still dull as shit. That was Enterprise to me.

What I proposed on GBBS was simple; re-casting. I’ve seen Scott Bakula act. He’s not going to win an Oscar or anything, but he’s good. In Quantum Leap he did something quite important; he made it fun. The show wasn’t great, but it was fun and that was down to it’s two leads. I’ve seen Bakula in other things, mainly on Sci Fi where he just didn’t seem to have ‘it’ as much as he did in QL (though his QL co-star Dean Stockwell showed he was still awesome with his portrayal of Cavil in Battlestar Galactica) and even though I cringed hearing he was going to be captain of the Enterprise, I still hoped he’d be fun.

He was anything but.

The entire character was pathetic. He was bland, uninteresting, he was George W in Space (cheers for that OT!) and until the last season the only change in character would be to shout. BECAUSE SHOUTING SHOWS YOU SHOULD TAKE ME FUCKING SERIOUSLY! More importantly to me, it was as if Bakula either a) knew the character was shit and just read the words on the page hoping he’d be paid at the end of the week or b) was wrong for the role.

But was he wrong for the role, or was the character – along with the rest of the show – just dreadful?

I think it’s both. And when it comes to the show itself, I’m going to steal from the discussion…

1978 – Battlestar Galactica – great show, strong characters. New show on the tail of the Star Wars / SciFi craze
2003 – Battlestar Galactica – 25 years after TOS BSG with just G1980 and a few books inbetween, massive cult want for BSG. VERY MUCH thought out to twist on the classic show with a modern spin. Shot in a documentary style that give it more of a visual edge as well as the edgy sub plots the show had.

1966 – TOS Star Trek – great show, strong characters, ground breaking stories parallel current events. Became underground cult GOD!
2001 – Enterprise – 35 years after its original inspiration on the tail of a constant – and sometimes overlapping – exposure of other incarnations of Star Trek. VERY LITTLE thought on making this a modern twist of the classic that can lead into the classic (keep time lines happy). It was the Studio trying to milk more out of its near 40 year franchise with just typical plots, and nostalgic tie ins to the future’s past. That is why Star Trek (2009) was a blockbuster film and Enterprise was called off.
- Cylon Knight

And…

I think BSG was much more of an ensemble show than Enterprise (both lasted 4 years; so it’s a level playing field for comparison that way). After 4 years on BSG, I really felt that I got to KNOW those people (a tribute to the writers and the actors both). On Enterprise? What little I know of Travis is that he grew up on a cargo ship, flies the ship, and smiles a lot (and he once had a thing with a redheaded reporter who looked like a cleaned-up Lindsay Lohan).

For a similar comparison, let’s consider Gaeta on BSG; he sings, he’s bi-sexual, he lost a leg, he went from being a loyal officer to a occupation collaborator/rebel to leading a mutiny against the admiral, and he was executed by a firing squad!

BSG was driven by characters and their growth; not cardboard archetypes.
-Obsolete Toaster

And I can hold Voyager up to the same thing – BSG owned that show in terms of concept. Galactica had MORE than Voyager and yet ended up in the shitter. Voyager? Limited resources, hostile crew, bad situation yet… status quo.

Enterprise and Voyager failed to capitalise on something very important; Difference and change. They tried to milk the same elements of the same franchise and, while Enterprise was more of a failure and did improve in it’s last season, they failed. They killed it.

I won’t say anymore, because I could pick this apart and rant on this for hours. But… let’s hope the next Trek TV series moved forward from the event that sent Spock back and time and kicked off the alternate reality. JJ-Trek was a great way to reinvent a movie franchise. For a TV franchise…?

…well, I do have an incredible multi-year outline…

Paramount, give a call. Or I’ll send Adam Shame round to get you.

After a recent conversation with Barry Miller at the recent Battlezone event, and seeing a post by the always wonderfully minded Obsolete Toaster on GBBS, I’ve decided to re-evaluate something I evaluated here before. The Treks. Arguably it’s one of the most successful franchise and one that’s survived several incarnations.

But, while I’m a trek fan – the new name of this site should be a clue – I can still see the bad as well as the good and with the discussion coming up more than once lately, I decided I was bored enough to take another bash at looking back on the franchise.

The 1960′s show was, obviously, the show that started it all, a colourful science fiction drama with a bold captain, a cold alien scientist and a grumpy old country doctor. I do view this through rose tinted glasses and I do forgive some flaws as it was a style of the time thing. You can’t bitch at Citizen Kane for not being in HD. But this show was built around that trio, had some good supporting characters and was very exciting and imaginative for it’s time.

As I said, it was imaginative. Sure, there wer ebudget restraints and looking back it’s cheap and cheesy. But even with those labels it’s still appealing, it’s still good. The science and the look might be dated but the shows speak volumes. A lot of people like to remember it for having strong messages, sometimes it did, but for me the key was giving a bright and hopeful idea of the future wrapped up as an adventure story with all the drama and silliness thrown in.

Sometimes the siliness worked, Tribbles are still good fun and worked a charm in DS9′s re-visiting the episode in an anniversary special. But sometimes there was Spocks Brain. And that wasn’t so good.

The discussion with Barry was interesting. He’s no big Star Trek fan, but he liked Voyager as he said ‘it had a purpose’. We both talked about that problem with TNG – there is no point. Exploring strange new worlds? No they don’t, they go around, have a chat with world’s they’ve known for years and drink tea. Deep Space Nine (my favourite of the lot) to him was a bunch of people sitting around. I get that too, partly.

Voyager had a twist, it had purpose. But as has been mentioned, they didn’t follow through with that purpose. They mentioned their dilemma for several years, tossed in the word ‘rations’ and we even saw them do deals to buy supplies and weapons we never saw again. Supposedly they had little supplies, yet rebuilding the two or three shuttles they had was fine and when they needed to, they built the Delta Flyer. Where did those resources come from?

The Borg… they seemed boring and I got fed up of them. The obvious casting of Jeri ‘doesn’t she look hot in this tight lycra’ Ryan and her taking on the role of not evolving and being very cliche was just dull. It felt as if it became all about her at times and with each Borg appearance, they seemed to become less of a threat.

Add to that Janeway… one week she’d be a by the book captain enforcing the law, the next she’d be changing her mind and being a rebel. Why not just stick with the Starfleet/Maquis command split and have Chakotay push the rebellious, out of the box actions and have Janeway try to stick by the book. That conflict alone adds more story conflict, shows both sides being strong and weak depending on the story, it shows vulnrability and all sorts of new doors could have been opened that, throughout the show, were closed leaving Chakotay being left as a calm, boring and unseen character who could have been so much more, and Janeway comes off as somewhat of a mental.

Then there was Enterprise… there were many factors against it.

Timing. Star Trek had been running solidly on TV in one shape or another since 1987, for seven years there were two on at the same time. The TNG movies, bar one, weren’t doing that well. The product was becoming stale and uninteresting and instead of giving it time, putting it on the shelf for a while and letting it rest – Star trek came back! Again. There just wasn’t enough time to let the audience rest and build interest in the name again.

Casting. I’m sure many people love the memories of Quantum Leap and Scott Bakula has been moderately good in a few TV movies I’ve seen. His interpenetration of Archer ws so bland and so dull, I felt like he may as well have skipped learning the lines and just read from the script on camera. It felt as if there was nothing in that performance, no interest, no passion – just say the words and go to the bank at the end of the week.

Characters. The blatant attempt to revive the TOS trio was awful. Other characters which could have had interesting personas were put aside and there were attempts to spice them up that didn’t make sense.

Writing. It was awful. Sure, there are some episodes I enjoy just like there are some with Voyager. Some are better in retrospect, others are better with lowered expectations. Re-watching the Xindi arc, that was better than remembered (still not great) and just like Voyager it felt like all the challenges made in the plot were swept aside.

When Barry said to me DS9 was just people sitting around, although I could see that (they rarely do any actual work) it was a character driven show, with involvement, that had a story line that wasn’t interesting – so they changed it and brought on the war which was interesting. But it stemmed from that initial plot.

Like anything, there were flaws – but seeing interesting characters, a good cast, good stories and arcs that seem gripping despite knowing the Federation would never lose the war… it just seemed to have the flow, story logic, development and characters that Enterprise and Voyager were scared to do.

I see DS9 as having a new beginning in it’s fourth season with the third building to it. The Bajoran stuff was good, but it wasn’t interesting enough to carry a show and there are only so many times you can write about aliens coming through the wormhole – part of Voyagers problem was ‘how many variations of bumpy forehead can we do?’ – so they rebooted and focused on one mighty civilization, the threat they posed and how that changed everything. With Voyager far away, DS9 had control of the Federation and how it would evolve.

Maybe it will be the show with people sitting around or not doing their actual jobs, I watched one the other day where Dax seemed to be pissed at having to do some actual work, and maybe Voyager and Enterprise had a plot closer to the original one that got everyone interested.

But both for me were a whole heap of undiscovered potential. Voyager in particular was trumped by the BSG re-imagining where, despite having more resources than Voyager, did run into problems. Hell, the entire fleet ate recycled goop because there was nothing else to eat and everyone felt the effects of losing their home and being trapped in their jobs.

With such let downs, is it any surprise the new movie went back to Star Treks roots?

Or have I just put undue pressure on a concept and hoped for more?

Bow down and give praise, for the Geeky List Thing’s portion of Star Trek is about to hit it’s main event. This was how it all began, the original Star Trek series running from 1966-1969. A low budget campy show that no one thought would run three seasons, let alone be a cult icon that lived through several spin offs, eleven motion pictures and is about to live even longer with two more movies in the pipeline with a new era of the Franchise growing.

When it came to making a new Star Trek film, JJ & Co went back to the beginning. DS9 was awesome, the Next Gen brought in a new era and Voyager and Enterprise… well, they had their moments. But they knew they had to start at the beginning as nothing had been as iconic as Kirk and his crew. So… let’s take a peek at what we left behind…

Feed them, and they multiply in masses and eventually overrun your ship. Like an evil bunny. But the little critters help Kirk realise there’s a Klingon infiltrator on the station, who eventually goes back in time to kill Kirk in DS9′s Trails and Tribblations.

The ep is one of my first Trek memories. It’s light fluffy fun. And it’s wonderful. The tribbles seem to be surrounded in fun moments, but Kirk’s line at the end “And third… close that hatch.” still makes me smile.

…and that synopses doesn’t do it justice in the slightest. But that doesn’t matter right now… a lot of people look back on Star Trek and see moral messages more than sci fi action adventure. Not every episode was a sermon, but the two things Trek did well were fun and lectures.

In this we see a moment where Kirk struggles to recognise the racial differences between Bele and Lokai – an obvious hatred between them stemming from the colour of their skin. An obvious parallel that spoke to a lot of people back in the day.

Starring the late Mark Lenard, who would go on to portray Spocks father Sarek, he acts as the Romulan Commander who bears a striking resemblance to Spock. In that moment we see that the Romulans and the Vulcans have more in common than the logician would like to admit.

Finding themselves in the depression era of the US, Kirk and Spock befriend Edith Keeler, get enough work to be able to afford a patch job on Spocks tricorder which then tells him that Keeler was supposed to die in an accident. McCoy saved her and it changed everything.

So we have a wonderful moment where Kirk, who’s fallen for Keeler, has to stand by and watch her die to make sure history follows the right path. Which was one of the most heartbreaking, and in general one of the best overall, moments in the land of Trek.

Spock then fights for her with Kirk as T’Pring’s champion and the two fight to the death!

This is not only an epic episode and one of the classic moments of Star Trek which wil be remembered for all time, it’s the one identifying scene everyone knows. Whether it be the action, the setting, the weapons or the music, everyone knows something and whenever it’s parodied – and Jesus, it’s parodied a lot – it’s always a familiar sight.

So there it is. The list. Feel I missed something out? Maybe you think Khan’s takeover or Pike’s last mission count as something to add? Two Kirks? The Gorn? If you’ve got a differing opinion – speak now, or… well… I won’t know about it.

The Next Generation offered a new era for Star Trek. Deep Space Nine kicked off before TNG went off the air and then there was Voyager, boldly going further into the 24th century and boldly getting worse as the years went on, becoming a horrible, horrible television show.

With Paramount and Rick Berman all too happy to wank the franchise out, squeezing every last piece of energy out from the tired writing of Bermans top time wasters, they hit out quickly after the end of Voyager and brought us Enterprise.

A prequel, because we all know how well that works, don’t we Mr. Lucas?

Deep Space Nine was good, but it didn’t have the space exploration aspect that some wanted, and while Voyager let us down with what they spewed out, Enterprise promised to show us the birth of the Federation and Starfleet by bringing us the same TNG era exploration but with some of that classic Star Trek feel of a cowboy in space sitting in the captains chair.

Unfortunately the format was epic fail. The captain was played by a man who was so unpassionate about everything, straight laced and just downright dull. His XO Was too obviously a bad replacement for Spok and scenes written for her and love interest Trip Tucker were the anti-sexy. The est of the cast remained under defined and pathetically unused and instead if merging the best of the previous Treks, they seemed to highlight the worst aspects of them just by being dreadful.

There were some good elements, however. Despite the fanboys having a crack at the ship being an obvious rip off Akira class from First Contact, it was very nicely designed both inside and out. The detail was incredible and it looked like a nice primitive ship closer to our own time. Spot on. The uniforms matched that with wardrobe focusing on a step up of our time rather than a distant future and by the fourth season the writers figured out how to make a decent show again. But it was too little too late.

Orions bring the sexy.
Bound (season 4)
There’s nothing I can say here but… sexy green women dancing. Awesome.

In seriousness, this brought back the Orion Slave Girls from the original series and updated them for our time. It was a nice callback to the original stories portrayed in the Trekverse and made the slaves something more by having them being the masters using their sexuality to control men, rather than being used for sexy time.

The origins of Data.
Borderland-Augments (season 4)
Well this was a pleasure just for Brent Spiner. In TNG Data was a machine working as an officer on board the Enteprise designed by Dr Soong. In Enterprise we see an ancestor of Soong working on genetic engineering based on the same work that brought us KHAAAAAAAAAAAN in the 1990′s. Of Trek time anyway.

There was a nice line at the end of it all when Soong gets put in prison after chasing down his genetically engineered mutant men where he decided to move on from supermen to creating something else… which leads into a lifetime of work that would caus his great grandson to complete that research as Data.

The Klingons explained.
Affliction-Divergence (season 4).
In this, the same genetic fiddling as above finds itself in the hands of the Klingons, who play with themselves to make themselves harder. Minds out the gutter, people. Uncle Phil of Fresh Prince fame kidnaps Dr Phlox to come fix them up as the genetic tampering is not only imprinting human qualities, but is deadly. Fatally deadly!

This didn’t need to be done, but in a season where the rest of the Trekverse was being referenced in the right way, the introduction to Augmented Klingons was a nice touch. Until then we’d have Worf brush off the change in Klingon appearance between TOS and the movies, but here we see the reason Klingons had a flat forehead in Kirks early era, but nowhere else.

Hoshi gets hot.
In a Mirror, Darkly (season 4).3
Notice a trend on the season 4-ness here? In this episode we see the Mirror universe, first seen in Kirks Era but mostly seen in DS9. And a very hot Hoshi moves from pumping machine to Empress as we see her take over the evil Captain Archers command and make herself ruler of the world while looking frakable in the process.

Mirror universe Hoshi managed more development in two episodes than real universe Hoshi did in four years.

We also got to see them moving through time to the Kirk dimension, stealing the Constitution class Defiant and replicating classic series sets and even a Gorn. Wonderful tribute.

Enterprise is cancelled.
(NO SEASON 5 FOR YOU!)
This was the best moment for Enterprise, when the plug was finally pulled. After a lackluster four years, it was well overdue. It shouldn’t have gone past two seasons. And thats being nice.

The fourth season, despite having a slap in the face finale, was the best it was going to get and anything else would be a let down. Well, more of a let down that the first three seasons which you’d have to be seriously loyal, or seriously mental, to love.

Any Enterprise fans out there? I’ll leave comments open so all six of you can moan about this.

I’ve noticed a lot of debate on reality versus fantasy recently and with SyFy promoting Caprica as more accessible by hiding the fact it’s a science fiction show, it prompted me to ask a question when Majik made a comment to the Galaxy Quest post.

With the theme of the Geeky List thing here, it’s no great secret that these days I’m all about the drama aspect of science fiction. Watching Ben Sisko struggle with a controversial decision, Adama giving Tigh chance after chance despite his mistakes and addiction, Sam Tyler (good name) trying to understand if he’s time travelling or going insane… or even a more mainstream idea of Marty McFly going back in time and trying to make sure his parents kiss on that dance floor…

But what about the science element of science fiction? Lost was officially bundled into the science fiction category once the survivors began to shift throughout time. When Desmond shifted there was a ‘sort of’ explanation. When they began jumping through time at random intervals, there was no explanation whatsoever. Is just having a time travel element enough? Or should there be a more logical explanation to it for it to be properly science fiction?

The thing that turns me off Science Fiction is the fiction element. I’m one of the seeming minority that just can’t watch Dr Who without wanting to chew the power cable of the TV in the hope that silence and death arrive at the same time to save me from evil Wheelie bins, Daleks that weigh just over 30 lbs and a screwdriver that seems to have inherited the “Superman effect”. Give me something based on science boundaries being pushed, and I’m fascinated – the moment reality is a dot on the horizon, I’m lost…
-Majik

And I see where he’s coming from entirely. Me, I’m more interested in the dramatic opportunities. Voyager had a character that was a hologram. There was a technical explanation and often technical episodes where there was a problem to be fixed which would give a more in depth look at how this sophisticated piece of science theory would come together… but the key t the episodes would be heavily based on ‘how does this effect the character’? Which is a valid point thats been around in sci fi for ages.

Is the machine alive? Can a machine have consciousness? The Next Generation really hit home on this with Measure of a Man – an episode which questioned the very being of a machine – but has there been too much focus on the emotional elements and not enough on the hard science?

The science was in part what dragged me into Trek in the first place. The technomagic was often unobtainable bullshit but it was all based on actual theory that people were either working on, or have worked on since. I’m still amazed they’ve came up with Geordies Visor and the Tricorder – even though both are extremely low tech in comparison.

Unfortunately they went too far by the time of Voyager and it was swaying to the side of bullshit more than theory and ‘Borg Nanoprobes’ became the same magic wand the sonic screwdriver had when RTD was writing Who. That made me appreciate the Who-isms more, I suddenly loved the anti-technobabble that some shows had user as overkill and dealing with transdimensional residue by calling it ’stuff’ and the ‘timey wimey detector, goes ding when there’s stuff’ type lines just began to amuse me.

When I’m writing it I have my own limited knowledge and reference books from some brilliant authors and scientists, one of whom does Trek science books which is brilliant for my time killing hobby, but I always try and put that in a realistic setting. In Next Gen, LeVar Burton tried to make the technobabble realistic by saying it as fast as he possibly could, as if he was speeding through the thoughts in his mind instead of making the words sound complex and awe inspiring. I like to remind myself of an engineer I know… he doesn’t spout off technobabble or lose you in thought, he knows what he’s doing… and thats all that matters to him.

I think theres room for both hard science and magical fantasy in sci fi – but more recently I’ve been interested in story and character more than challenging concepts. They’re good for the odd film or episode – Se7en was a good film, for example, but not every production could be like that and the less there are, the more special the film is – but overkill on something that’ll make you think is not enough to keep the audience emotionally interested, which is the main key to the current generation of TV – which is somewhat a sad thing to say.

Life on Mars is a good example. There was a sci fi element, but it wasn’t obvious… the story was more about the man and his struggle with the changes around him. BSG was less about the science and more about the personal struggles and overall story of being the last of humanity on the run. So I think I’m leaning towards the SF Drama more than anything these days…

But again, what about the science? Is it important to a story how the Doctor manages to regenerate? Or how the warp drive works? Does it really matter to the plot? Not often.

But how much bullshit can you spout before science fiction becomes science fantasy? Is the concept of time travel or the setting of a space ship enough to carry the science element, or is it important for the writers to know, or at least convey some sense of knowledge of how these things work and make us open our mind and question it – as Star Trek has done to many kids who are now scientists – or wave a magic screwdriver and just say ‘it works because it does’.

Arthur C Clarke said you can’t write science fiction without knowing anything about science. More recently shows have focused on personal elements and our own lead sci fi, Doctor Who, often see’s it’s science as magic that will be dull if delved into.

I know there’s a lot of you out there who are sci fi fans, have wonderful minds better than my own when it comes to how things work (like Maj) and those of you who just love to be entertained. And I’m in the middle of fantasy versus reality, so…

Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Does it even matter anymore? What do you think?

I haven’t done a retro-review type thing in a while and so I’m going to focus on a film that’s probably one of the best Star Trek movies made, this one features Tim Allen in the captains chair as he finds himself in the middle of an intergalactic incident. Yes, Tim Allen. No, not really Star Trek.

The film is based around a group of actors from a dead TV Show. Much like the real stars of sci fi television they’re doing the convention circuits and just like the Shatners and Hamils couldn’t escape their cult fame, neither can this fictional cast who are ever to be known as the guys in funny suits on that space ship from that TV show people used to watch and now laugh at.

Problem is, not everyone knows their stories are works of fiction and some nearby aliens in distress have come to Earth to search for the crew believing that their TV show was reality. So they head to a convention to take the captain to a replica of his ship they’ve built for him so that he’ll speak to their enemies and end a brutal war on them.

With only a superfan to help guide them from the ground, the actors muddle through their mission and try to save the day – this time for real.

The casting for this was brilliant. Despite me not being a fan of his comedic endeavers most of the time, Allen nailed this role taking the piss out of William Shatner, who mentioned years later on Raw Nerve that he loved the parody. And he’s he full parody. The character he plays, Captain Taggart, is a womaniser who’s shirt will fall off with the slghtest scrape and he immerses himself in his fans who see him as a joke of his former self.

Alien star Sigourney Weaver joined the fun as the fictional shows Uhural but for me the standout performance is Alan Rickman’s portrayal of Sir Alexander Dane/Dr. Lazerus, the Spock of the show. A classically trained actor who resents his television role and how it’s typecast him since the show was cancelled.

Like most other Rickman role’s he’s just absolutely wonderful at the comedic and witty bitterness and steals any scene he’s in. But considering the Shatner-Nimoy rivalry, I’m not entirely sure that’s an accident.

The film was one of the best parodies I’ve ever seen. Not only that, it was just plain fun. But let’s look at the opinions of the objects of the affectionate humour…

I had originally not wanted to see Galaxy Quest because I heard that it was making fun of Star Trek and then Jonathan Frakes rang me up and said “You must not miss this movie! See it on a Saturday night in a full theatre”. And I did and of course I found it was brilliant. Brilliant. No one laughed louder or longer in the cinema than I did, but the idea that the ship was saved and all of our heroes in that movie were saved simply by the fact that there were fans who did understand the scientific principles on which the ship worked was absolutely wonderful. And it was both funny and also touching in that it paid tribute to the dedication of these fans
-Patrick Stewart

I think it’s a chillingly realistic documentary ! The details in it, I recognized every one of them. It is a powerful piece of documentary filmmaking. And I do believe that when we get kidnapped by aliens, it’s going to be the genuine, true Star Trek fans who will save the day. … I was rolling in the aisles. And Tim Allen had that Shatner-esque swagger down pat. And I roared when the shirt came off, and Sigourney rolls her eyes and says, ‘There goes that shirt again.’ … How often did we hear that on the set?
-George Takei

If you’re a fan of Star Trek – or sci fi in general – whether you’re a convention goer or a casual watcher, or are even caught up in the nostalgic novelty of old productions, you’ll get the inside gags. If not, you’ll be entertained by it all anyway.

So go watch it…

…or I’ll send Worf out to eat you.

When Next Generation went off the air, DS9 became the writers playground and with that show not having the bold exploration part of the show… Voyager decided to go where no man had gone before and with Captain Janeway in the big seat, the ship was lost far from known space and thrown into chaos.

But chaos never actually happened. The show had them cut off from all their creature comforts and resources, yet the crew seemed to have a jolly time out there with very little causing trouble, constant fuel supplies and despite throwing the word ‘rations’ around every now and then, an unlimited source of resources.

All the trauma of being cut off from civilisation, upgrades and everything else was all too often forgotten and any problem faced was always easily fixed. If half the ship fell off, they’d somehow get it fixed by the next episode and as the show went on, every solution involved Borg Nanoprobes in some way like a magic wand being waved to give the writers an easy way out of everything.

The producers forgetting the very basic plot ruined Voyager for me. Instead of being something new and unique, it was another Next Generation with bland characters doing pretty much nothing. The show to me is seven years of wasted potential with one of the worst finale’s I’ve ever seen, I could go on…

…but despite that, it had it’s moments.

In that book which is my memory, on the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you appear the words: Here begins a new life.
Latent Image (season 5)
This is noted as being Robert Picardo’s favourite episode of Voyager, and with good reason. In this, his character simply known as ‘The Doctor’ or ‘EMH’ realises that Harry Kim has gone through a complex medical procedure reasonably recently and as he’s the only person on board who could do such a thing – he’s understandably confused.

Seeing as he’s a hologram and his brain is merely a computer database, he should remmeber something like this. And so he begins to learn of a time when his programming began to collapse. He had two patients, both of them unstable in exactly the same condition and hehad to choose which one to operate on. Being a computer, he should have gone about it logically. But in this instance he chose who he was closest to and saved Harry while the other crew member died.

Designed only to be a medical suppliment to be used in an emergency, he’s not programmed to deal with emotional decisions and over theyears we’ve seen him turn from program to person. This decision tipped him over the edge of reason and his programming began to collapse in the form of a breakdown, so Janeway decided to erase his memory.

When he rediscovers what happened, he begins to fall apart again but he fights against having his memory wiped and in the end we have a wonderful closing scene where the crew take turns looking after him as he tried to wrap his head around what happens and come to terms with it, being treated as a person instead of a machine.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
The Thaw (season 2)
This was one of the better episodes of Voyager for me. The setting was simple enough. Ish. The crew stumble upon a planet that went through a disaster and find out that a group had put themselves into some kind of artificial hibernation in order to survive it. The crew soon find out their minds are trapped in an artificial world with an insane clown, played nicely by Michael McKean, keeping them hostage.

By this point engineering types Torress and Kim are already trapped inside and find out that the Clown was created by those inside him and if they leave their hibernation, he’ll die. So he’s doing what he can to keep them in and if he kills you inside his little world, you die in the real world.

The closing scene is wonderful when Janeway offers herself in place of all the people he’s keeping hostage and slowly he realises it’s all a trick. His world fades away piece by piece leaving him alone with a fake Janeway as he cowers in fear at his own impending doom.

How it could have been.
Equinox (season 5-6)
While I think this was a wasted opportunity that could have been stretched as more than just a brdge between the two seasons and turned into an arc, I loved this episode for two reasons. The first was just like the moment in BSG when the Pegasus arrived and for that moment, everything seemed a little better.

The second reason… when we get to know the Equinox crew we get a glimpse of what could have happened to the crew if they’d abandoned their morals and really did do what it took to get home. It was also a glimpse of what should have been in Voyager with the desperation and frustration overwhelming them.

The cliffhanger for the first part, the end of season five, was brilliant. Voyager was screwed, the Equinox crew were in control and the lines were drawn. Amazingly, this wasn’t a big technbabble ending in the second part which made it all the better.

I’m a doctor, not a commando!
Message in a Bottle (season 4)
When Voyager finds a communications doohicky, they send the Doctor’s program through to a Starfleet ship back home. Soon enough, the Doctor realises he’s on an experimental ship designed to operate in a war he’s never heard of, there’s a new EMH in the form of comedian Andy Dick and the ship has been taken over by Romulans.

Why do I love this episode? It’s fun.

The interactions between the two EMH’s make the episode brilliant. Robert Picardo and Andy Dick work wonderfully together and the best moment comes when they decide to take over the ship and take control of the bridge from the Romulans. Then of course, they have to fight not only the Romulans but Starfleet ships that have come to reclaim their project, which results in them struggling to figure out how to operate a ship, how to battle their enemies and how to tell their allies their not Romulans.

Not everyone has the ability to truly perceive time, its colors, its moods.
Year of Hell (season 4)
This was, hands down, without a doubt the best episode Voyager ever made. Ever.

In this two parter we meet Annorax, played by Kurtwood Smith of ‘That 70′s Show’, who’s also portrayed various roles in Star Trek including the Federation President in the TOS movie Th Undiscovered Country. In this, he’s a scientist who’s time-related experiment resulted in the end of his home planet and is now killing entire worlds and changing time recklessly trying to bring it all back. But no matter how close he gets, he’s never able to bring back his wife who was lost in the initial experiment and will never give up until he has her back.

So there’s the emotional part of the antagonist locked up with the plot, ad we have Chakotay trapped with him out of time trying to help.

Back on Voyager, that ship is suffering he consequences of Annorax fiddling with the space time continuum and over the course of a year, Voyager goes through a series of disasters losing power, resources, crew and more. The ship is barely habitable, Tuvok’s lost his sight, Neelix is forced to double up as security and with half the crew dead and Janeway on the edge.. things are not going well.

This is another two-part episode that could have been a full on story arc and really did show what Voyager could have been if they kept it all closer to the plot. Keeping to the original story, Voyager could have been this good for a while. Alas, the magic reset button was used at the end. It made sense in the setting – but it was a shame to lose all that drama and good stuff.

But despte all the wonderful pars, the best for me was Janeway’s big plan at the end. She was ready to sacrifice herself and what was left of her ship to take out Annorax and reset time back to normal. Then we had one of the best character moments between her and Tuvok.

They’d been written as a kind of professional friendship we’ve seen with Spock and Kirk. That original Human-Vulcan pairing never really seemed like a friendship to me until Star Trek II when Spock and Kirk were looking at each other threw the glass, Kirk weeping at the death of his friend. Much like that, this was the first moment that the friendship clicked for Janeway and Tuvok.

The ship is going down, Janeways ready for her suicide run and the ever loyal Tuvok refuses to leave and stays by her side. It was so simple, but said a lot more than other scenes with them.

Special mentions go to episodes like the Chute, which I couldn’t really place a moment for it was just a good episode, Timeless and the two-parter Futures End which placed Voyager in 1996. And of course the Meld, which Brad Dourif made all kinds of awesome… and his death later on was pretty good.

Something to add or moan about? Moan away.

General update time. Because this is my site and I feel like it. First off, Source. Some comments were left regarding the name change and they’re staying moderated. So there. Problem? Refer to the line about my site…

Source has been pretty good lately and I’ve been around all of this year doing generally MC’y stuff. I sucked last time in Erskine, but I enjoyed Rutherglen and was looking forward to doing Cumbernauld but alas, I was busy. Being Falcon’s agent, I wasn’t letting a British title tournament happen without getting him involved so I bribed a few people and made sure he was in. Well… blackmailed. But thats not the issue here…

So, we sorted it so that Joe Coffey’s first round match would instead be a qualifier against Falcon and my guy won. Which is good, but regardless of our foul play against Coffey, I’m calling it now…

Joe Coffey, future NWA Scottish Heavyweight Champion. Without a doubt.

The SWA year kicked off in Uddingston. I was leading Falcon and Junior, but I still ended up doing some MC’ing with a lack of an MC on the night and will be hosting the show this Friday in Newton Mearns.

I think I like this gig. But still, I do miss Marty Michaels.

Outside of wrestling I’ve kicked off Year One part two here (mirrored here) and I’ve been working on the costuming for LFCC.

As you’ve seen in the previous update, the officers uniform is pretty much done. I’ve got some paint to add the serial number and I’ll be working on the tactical belt at some stage before then.

Next up is the phaser, which will be a Nemesis-style dolphin phaser but with a different paint job, and I’ve ordered some plastic to start creating the Link (the what?) and once those are done I can knock up the ‘tool belt’.

I’m also working on Raven Shayde‘s BSG Colonial Officers uniform. I’ve cut all the pieces and she has all the pins and buttons. It’s just up to me to sew together all the pieces.

I’ve also started pre-planning Six’s outfit from the BSG miniseries pilot. I have patterns ready for it, I just need to modify them to look more like the Six suit which will require a bit of research. I’m also offering ring robes and entrance gear to wrestlers – so if you want some, get in touch.

The only annoyance in all this is the latest frak up from Royal Mail. I checked the mail today. My DS9 season 4 box set was here. Yay! That was all. Later on Raven checked. There was a wedding invitation from an old friend who I’m looking forward to catching up with, good times, and a slip from Royal Mail reading “Sorry you were out.”

It was labeled 7:50 on Friday. When both Raven and I were awake and she was getting the kids ready for school. I was awake and sitting pretty much where I am now. Same deal this morning. So when exactly did Mr Incompetence try to deliver my mail?

There’s a guy that’s brilliant with deliveries, always gets them here with a smile and some chat. The rest… absolutely hopeless. So I’m going to have to head to the post office in the morning and try to get my mail that way while shouting at people. The most annoying thing is… I know exactly what was to be delivered.

Anyway, good stuff… my daughter started nursery today. Which is good and weird at the same time. I feel old and weird. But proud of her awesomeness.

On March 4th, I posted this on the showmasters forum regarding Collectormania Glasgow.

I’ll put real money on that first guest being less than average height.

-Linkage

…today Showmasters announced Kenny Baker. R2D2.

I am this:

Oh, and if you’re wondering what the pic is all about… Raven bought me a re-print of the Enterprise D cutaway poster today which has taken pride of place on the living room and is awesome.

I’m done now. Piss off.