You know what I hate? Midgets. But almost as much as those creepy little stalking bastards, I hate TV executives that cancel something because all they want is the next best thing and if the ratings aren’t spanktastic to start with they lose interest. Nothing gets a chance any more and it’s irritating to watch Big Brother continue to thrive beyond it’s due time when Firefly couldn’t even get it’s last episodes aired.

It’s a horrible sign of humanity when something that good gets punted for some idiot, probably called Wayne or Velatorious the Grand Wizard of Cockmunchery, sitting in the Big Brother house acting like a wank while the nation wonders if he can get whatever idiot bimbo type is in there to get her tits out so the men in the audience can have a quick fiddle over three seconds of blurry footage.

So I choose to ignore the waves of absolute shite and look back at shows that never should have been canceled, shows that were written with thoughts and ideas with potential to entertain, enlighten, tell a story and most importantly – not fill out screen with thirteen wankers with the only redeeming quality being that they’re puny human flesh can’t stop bullets.

Earth 2.
November 1994-June 1995
After a crash, a group of survivors find themselves settling in unknown territory surrounded in mystery, intrigue and a group of unknowns who may or may not pose a threat. I always thought Lost seemed a bit like this show in concept. It’s a little known character piece about a group looking to colonise on another planet as Earth and it’s orbitting stations is full up and it’s time to move on!

This makes my list as it used to be part of my Saturday morning routine. Doctor Who, Earth 2, WWF (not the E). It was also intriguing at the time to see a group of flawed characters including thieves, liars, murderers and the guy from Shawshank Redemption and watch the mystery of previously doomed colonists unfold.

Unfortunately it all ended with a cliffhanger. A cliffhanger that was never resolved. Fuckers.

Futurama.
On and off since 1999
This is an odd one. Technically this isn’t a cancellation. Well, it was. But it came back with four DVD movies and it returns this month. But still, it was canceled and that was annoying.

This wasn’t the best animated show, but it was one with a lot of heart and geeky humour. Better than what the Simpsons had become, maybe not as laugh out loud as the inconsistent Family Guy, but it was too good to be given the shaft. But fuck it, it’s coming back. So yay.

Firefly.
September 2002-December 2002.
One part sci fi, one part western. Firefly’s central character was a man who battled in civil war and lost with the show following the life of those outside the civilized government on the edge of the final frontier. It brought something new to the sci fi genre with it’s wild west logic. It also brought Joss Whedons best quality to the table – characters and funnies.

It was one of the most fun and different shows out there and had a lot of potential to go further. The movie Serenity, made after cancellation, proved it had potential to go somewhere pretty damn good. Especially with Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Summer Glau and Allan Tudyk on board.

Alas, Fox disagreed and Whedon seemed to be getting canceled on every show he was working on so.. the chop was foolishly made when ratings bombed after some idiotic scheduling and promotion.

Flash Forward.
September 2009-May 2010
Despite getting off to a slow start, Flash Forward took one of modern TV’s most irritating strategies – a break – and became good again. Unfortunately no one was watching after that break and it’s all about the ratings, to the show died.

I’ve mentioned this in a recent blog so I don’t want to retread it all again, but it pisses me off that this shows been damned to the irritating modern TV practice of going on a break to fix it if it doesn’t draw as well as you hoped. Putting a show up against established programming with strong fanbases and refusing to give anything a chance doesn’t help – but just like anything in modern society, the networks have no patience anymore.

If one of my favourite TV shows, Deep Space Nine, was aired today it’d go on a break by the sixth episode, come back with some explosions, lose it’s audience and be canceled by episode 18.

As it happened, DS9 was given room to breath and after two shaky seasons and finding their feet in the third, had an outstanding run from their fourth season onwards. Today… that’d never happen.

Arrested Development.
November 2003-February 2006
This is another Fox fuck up and it’s actually one of the most idiotic decisions they’ve made. And we’re talking about Fox here…

Arrested Development was the BSG of the comedy world. It was raved about, it was loved, critics – the people who just moan about shit – couldn’t say enough good things. It won awards, it was placed on a pedistal, it was the best thing since we discovered the penis could go in the vagina and make happy time. Yet Fox didn’t like the ratings and it was shitcanned.

Arrested Development was great. It had a good strong cast and always, always, delivered. Yet because it wasn’t on the Friends level of ratings it was given the Firefly treatment. Well, slightly better than Firefly. At least Fox had the courtesy to actually show the finale of Arrested Development.

What upsets me about this list is that these are five shows with the potential to go on to become something brilliant. And these are only five of dozens of good shows that died too soon for one reason or another outwith quality.

And yet… Hollyoaks is still on TV. Seriously, which rabid monkey is Phil Redmond fucking to keep that shit alive?

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Tags: fives, geek, movies, sci fi, telebox