A lot of people reading this, much like a lot of people in my life, known Peter Murphy as Conscience. A professional wrestler. The former Scottish and British Champion. The Last True Phenom. The Pryor. But like many of us in this bizarre world of wrestling, there is a life outside the ring and a person behind the persona. When I first met him he was an intimidating sight and he would his the Guilt Trip on me for fun and amusement.

It was later on I found out there was more to the man that meets the eye when we spent a day together in Area 52. We were supposed to be preparing the centre for the arrival of a Hammerlock Camp, but most of the day we sat down and talked. That was the day I started to realise just how much there was to know about the man. That there was more to him than most people realised.

Over the years I’ve learned more about the man behind the mask, as have many in SWA, and we not only see him as a mentor and a trusted ear, but a man with many passions, many interests and many stories to tell from his eclectic life. Stories which he finds passion in sharing which is why he’s written them down, looked deep within himself and let the man behind the imposing ring persona shine through after years of being British wrestling’s Conscience.

Peter had already accomplished several great achievements from the representing his country in athletics to gaining national titles in American Football before heading to Kent to learn the art of pro wrestling. After several prolific years as a headliner which not only saw him travel the UK, Europe and the United State but also appear on several high profile television shows before that chapter of his life ended with his retirement at the Gathering 2009. But as one chapter ended, another began and suddenly life started over once again.

It was his appearance on Iron Chef UK that most people saw one of his first loves spring back to life and re-ignite his passion for cooking, more so than ever before. With his wrestling and athletic life behind him, and not being the kind of man who wants to stand still and watch life go by, he was inspired by the experience and sooner than I suspect even he thought. After years of letting his first passion fall from being a career to a hobby he suddenly found himself working in the kitchen. And so, a new chapter has begun.

The Grappling Gourmet isn’t just about Peter Murphy the wrestler, the athlete, or the chef. It’s a collection of stories on his life throughout every venture, every experience, every step he took across the world and all the good and bad that happened on the way.

SWA fans may pick up the book and read through for road stories, maybe to laugh at stories of Adam Shame, to hear about the world famous wrestlers he’s met on his travels or the world of Scottish wrestling you may have never heard about. If that’s what you’re looking for, you won’t be disappointed. But this book will tell you a lot more than his life in spandex as Murphy shares stories of his the birth of his daughter, the tragic passing of his mother, his marriage, his friends, his brush with mortality and his experiences from being a young man with a passion for cooking, to athlete and wrestler to going back to the kitchen.

This book is one of the most honest and open I’ve read, and written by a man who is an engaging and fascinating story teller. With so many stories to share from the various and diverse era’s of his life, as well as some recipe’s that your significant other will thank you for making her, the Grappling Gourmet is a must-read.

You can pre-order PJ Murhy’s Grappling Gourmet at his website, grapplinggourmet.com priced at £9.99.

I tried to avoid reading too many reviews before going into The Author at Traverse Theatre last night, and I’m glad I did. This is a play you can’t go into knowing too much, if you went in knowing the end result it just wouldn’t have the same impact. So if you’re reading this, plan to see the Author and want to really experience it – I’d stop reading if I were you.

Do you want me to continue?

With the audience facing off against each other and writer-actor Tim Crouch sitting amongst us in the crowd, the show started with an odd sensation. Mostly of us all wondering how many people in the room were actors. It was then that a fan – who was an actor – opened the show with a funny commentary on why we were all here, how exciting it was and introducing himself before the story fell into place with Crouch began his part.

The story is one of an author and his play, a violent and disturbing piece which he discusses it’s process. The research, the imagery, of violence and abuse. Two actors, also sitting amongst the audience, join in giving their tales in the research process and how it changed them while the fan joins in with some comedic relief every now and then primarily focusing on his connection with the threatre.

As the play goes on, we learn that the actors, the author and the fan have suffered lasting effects of their exposure to the vile, the disguisting and the unthinkable and as the evening unfolds, their damage is exposed with one actor discussing how it made him violent and aggressive before walking out, the author confessing that it desensitized him enough for him to commit an act of abuse without thinking or caring, and the other actor who suffered from the abuse while the fan questions why we the audience, are willing to watch as the actors push themselves, and us, to the edge.

For film fans, it’s like Resevoir Dogs in the sense that it revolves around something you never see. It’s explained, it’s told. The imaginary play they’re discussing is implanted in your head. As is the research, the violent imagery. With the fan talking about his connection to theatre, particularly in a moment where he talks about how we’re all locked away in our own deprived reality of ‘bummings and bombings’ while the outside world continues with their merry lives, it focuses on the effects of the more edgy and risky performances, enhanced in theatre with live audience and interaction, which to me can be more powerful than other forms of violent story telling – the ones that get the bad press such as video games and TV – how these effect the audience as well as the actors.

In contrast to the jovial opening and the laughs throughout, the play ends showing two broken down and distressed actors. Damaged by the research and the performance of violent abuse, and then we see the author living in shame at his own downfall and act of child abuse. The fun of the theatre seems lost when each walks out one by one in pain – and audience members (which had me and Rob questioning whether some were plants) left as the story became more uncomfortable to be a part of.

To me this play explored the crossing of lines in the name of art, the pain and punishment the actors put themselves through in realism, where does the line lie between the violent monster you’re portraying or writing and yourself, how does this effect you and why are we watching? Why are we willing to let ourselves fall into a bubble of reality where the unacceptable is acceptable because it’s fiction?

In terms of the actors, it’s a fascinating study in how people approach their roles and how far they delve into them. Should they delve far enough to effect their personal lives for realism? And with the audience… well, it was wonderful to see the faces afterwards.

We discussed the walkouts afterward and there was some debate over them being planted for effect. But throughout there were people shriveling up, playing with their hair, looking at the ground, distracting themselves from the story being told and with the walkouts – staged or not – there seemed to be followers, and those remaining who felt guilty for hearing the tale to it’s bitter end. Outside, there was a look of guilt and shame of those who were uncomfortable and remained.

There were mixed reviews as we left but overall, I enjoyed it. It was a bit of a headfuck and a good story being told with all the above.

A special thanks must go to the Arches for getting me the tickets, and for Rob and Jackie for the enjoyable night. I only wish I’d left earlier to enjoy more of the days happenings…

I seem to be blogging again, inspired by Gary’s daily blogging, I assume. Despite the fact that Saturday saw the demise of the PC. I’ve tried everything to fix it. I’ve thrown things at it, took it apart, cleaned it, shouter at it. Nothing seems to work. So the laptop is being shared with myself and Raven – and as she posts a lot of news, I’ll be offline a bit more (which may be less of a distraction).

Anyway… I posted something on Facebook on Saturday night/Sunday morning (one of them) which inspired me to ask the Glasweigans (or anyone really) about your encounters with the local types who ask for change, come out with bizzarre challenges, try to engage you in baffling conversation or are just generally odd. So if you have a story, comment away! Until you do, I’m going to share some of my own…

What made me post on Facebook? Well… over the weekend we had some fellow geeks drop by (you can read one of their blogs here) and we got talking about the differences between junkie encounters, being from different parts of Scotland and all. Raven mentioned the Glasgow change-asker/scrounger habbit of asking for odd numbers of change. Usually 38p. Amazingly, while walking our visitors to the train station some guy stops us, gives us a sob story and asks for 38p. As if he had overheard our discussion and wanted to demonstrate.

We politely shake him off, I played nice, and went on our way. Once they had departed, I made my way back home and saw him coming out of a ship shop with a full tray of goodies in his hands. As he passes me, I comment “Other peoples money well spent.” Which, he didn’t seem to appreciate.

Some abuse followed, abuse that quickly ceased when I stopped, turned around and took a step towards him.

Thats one of the two things I love about Glasgow’s idiot population. A lot of them talk, especially when they’re with a crowd and want to impress, very few of them actually back it up (Divers, if you’re reading – post your McDonalds story for further proof).

Now before I continue, I’d like to point out I’m not a violent type. I’m not a hard man. In any way shape or form. Insert penis joke here. And it baffles me that these guys who get pissed and throw fists, likely gaining valuable fighting experience, and essentially spineless.

And they warn you. Yes, if you’ve heard Kevin Bridge’s routine you can see truth in it. These guys will be polite and give you advanced warning.

One guy in particular in Paisley, Sean Paul. Or something like that. I was working in security at the time and had to eject him as he was a known trouble maker who was banned for various reasons. Most of them being getting high and starting fights, or stealing cheap wine. So I ask him politely to leave, explain why and then engaged in a fifteen minute conversation.

I say conversation, this was him giving me non stop warnings, me rolling my eyes, his girlfriend screeching as if she’d just sat on a hedgehog and general annoyance that I was on CCTV and couldn’t just grad him and haul him out by his three remaining teeth. This is where his advanced notice came.

“I’m gonna stab ye.” Cheers, thanks for letting me know. “I’d do four years for you.” Really? I’m touched.

Eventually he realised his warnings didn’t seem to bother me. I was a security guard in Paisley. Getting stabbed is part of the job. I had a girl come at me with a needle on my first day, and that was a quiet day. So he pulled out a knife. Immediately the Peter Murphy brand of wrestling training came into effect. I grabbed him, smashed him into a coffee shop window and sat him on the ground with my knee on his back. Then he screamed, asking me why I did that.

Surely all his fighting experience should have given him the upper hand here? He was also mental.

Months later, on the way to Area 52, I bumped into him again. He asked me for 40p so he could get a bus. Not owning a car, I know how much public transport costs. If it’s 40p, thats either a bargain, or you’ll too lazy to walk down the street. He began to realise I was familier. And asked me if we’d done something together; time, money, drugs, stealing shit, whatever.

I relayed to him the above incident. His reply? “Aw whit? Pal, I’m just mad we it. So hows aboot 20p, aye?”

I have a long list of encounters which range from amusing, to bizarre, to violent to the occasionally funny. And YouTube seems to have some video evidence of these people…

…they’re scum of the earth, stupid and shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. However… with their antics on the street, they could well be classed as street theater and the stories of them always make a room laugh.

So please, share with me your encounters. Whether you’re Glasweigan, from some other part of Scotland or wherever.

Heading back to the world of science fiction before returning with the comedy run (mainly because I made a shitload of notes and haven’t went through them yet) my Enterprise mini-rant inspired me to look towards the leaders in sci fi. The men who are often the central focus of the show, the decision makers and the men who sit in the big chair (if they get a chair) making all the tough choices.

Oh yes, the captains. Thinking of Enterprise and how Captain Archer seemed weak, uninspiring and so downplayed that he bored my super-sexy Batman pants of me, I began to think of all those characters which were truly captivating through the writing, the performance and transitioned from being mere characters on a screen, to men of legend.

It’s a tough choice. But much like Marty Michael’s Top Ten Sci Fi Heroes these choices are based on my view (as always really, my site and all that) and oddly, we have two of the same men in the list. Enough babble. Kicking off with number five…

Kicking off at number five, we have…

Most importantly, the reason he’s on a non SW fans list is that he’s portrayed by Indiana Jones himself; Harrison Ford. Unlike Mark Hamil, Ford was cool. so cool that he outshines Luke Skywalker in every way and became the icon for all the young men who wanted to be just like him.

He’s also got a big hairy man slave.

Mal Reynolds is captain of the Serenity, an old cargo ship with a crew desperate enough to work for him as they live out a life of crime, struggling to survive as they live outside the controlling government. Mal once tried to fight that government in civil war and found himself on the losing side in a battle which he’s not overly bitter about, his side lost and he’s keeping out of their way. There’s no great plan, or mission of morals with Mal. Nor is there any malice in any crime he commits. He’s just a man trying to get by.

He’s not all about robbing and shooting people either. He’s somewhat of a nice guy which showed when he defended a brothel against an angry sheriff type for little reward, helped an Alliance captain against Reavers and helped an old war buddy when he found himself in peril. When it comes to the Serenity spin off movie he shows some more kindness when he realises he can’t turn his back on troubled young River, the sister of his ships doctor which again finds him up against the Alliance once again as an Agent tracks River down for knowing too much.

It helps that he’s portrayed by Nathan Fillion, who not only has wonderful comedic timing that works incredibly well with a Joss Whedon project, but he has a wonderful presence that makes him watchable in any role.

Out of all the Next Gen era of Trek captains, Sisko had a lot more going on. From his initial struggles to calm the people of Bajor when he takes command of their only outpost after they were occupied by Cardassia, to his reluctance to accept the role as their Emmisary to the Prophets due to obvious conflicts it causes with his government, to raising Jake in an unsafe enviroment and eventually heading to war with the Dominion, Sisko seemed to have a lot on his plate in comparison to other captains who pretty much had no social life. Yet Sisko carries on, makes friends and enemies and at times, controversial decisions.

Far away from the comfortable bridge of Captain Picards Enterprise and the bizarre calm office of Captain Janeways lost Voyager, Sisko seems to grow and change through the seasons, gaining a more commending presence over his crew through the war, breaking the rules and creating situations to bring in allies and even putting his own girlfriend in prison when she aids a terrorist group.

Lets look at Picards evolution through seven years of the Next Generation; Cup o’ tea, cup o’ tea, almost got shagged, cup o’ tea.

Exactly.

When the colonies were attacked and the fleet collapsed, Adama found himself on the last known Battlestar left and with the forced advice of the new president, did a runner with the remaining civilians before leading them on a quest to find the mythical 13th tribe, colonists who left centuries past for a planet called Earth.

This role couldn’t be played by anyone but the acting powerhouse that is Edward James Olmos. Through the four years of BSG we saw Adama’s highs and lows. Not just the public figure who was a strong leader, but the man who would break down and cry when things got tough, who struggled to maintain a relationship with his only surviving son, protect his dead sons ex fiancee and struggle to do the right thing. Often making bad choices and finding himself on the verge of giving up.

Adama’s faith was tested more than most in sci fi and two of his greatest moments showed a truly loving connection to his command. One is where he free’d the doomed colonists of New Caprica which left his ship in ruins before he accepted the fate that he and his ship were ready to die. Until Lee Adama jumped in for the save…

The other came when his ship finally did pack in. All the abuse from the Cylon attacks in both wars had left the ship in tatters. When it was time to move his flag elsewhere, he snapped. Everything he’d been through piled up hit him hard and we saw the brave, commanding Admiral curled up in a ball crying his eyes out over everything he’d lost.

How many of our heroes had such emotion? And how many of them seemed stronger for it? More importantly, how many of them could pull of that ‘stache?

Through the run of Star Trek, Kirk was bold, dashing, courageous, clever and while his right hand man, Spock, gained more fan mail, Kirk got all the girls on the show. When the movies hit the big screen, we saw this character evolve. At first into a man who had given up his life of adventure for a desk job and hated it. But it wasn’t until the far superior sequel, The Warth of Khan, that we saw this older Kirk become something new when the aging Admiral found himself in a battle against an old adversary and the character was reborn.

Shatner’s legendary Kirk survived another five Star Trek films, getting killed off in Generations, and has remained an icon. Although Shatner’s become a self aware self parody, he’s still awesome.

When Star Trek was brought back to the big screen with a new cast and new direction, it was no surprise that they opted to go back to day one. While Picard, Sisko and Janeway (not so much Archer) had their fanbase, not one of them matched up to Jimmy T.

Honorable mentions go to Commander Sheridon of Babylon 5, Colonel Jack O’Neil and despite hims not really being a captain… The Doctor (hey, he has a ship!)

Disagree? Have someone better in mind? Say something.

Before I say anything, if you read the last workshop blog you’ll know about a little project. The inventor of that project (I don’t think inventor is the correct term, but fuck it – this is my site. Deal with it) has started up a blog right here on TPM. Click here for Gary; Creator of creations. That’s not the blog name – I’ve been drinking.

Anyway, Enterprise… I recently picked on this show once again on GBBS. Why? Because it’s a huge gaping hole of disappointment. It’s as disappointed as lusting over Paris Hilton, thinking she’d make a great woman to stick your pee pee into then seeing her sex tape and realising even with a penis in her, she’s still dull as shit. That was Enterprise to me.

What I proposed on GBBS was simple; re-casting. I’ve seen Scott Bakula act. He’s not going to win an Oscar or anything, but he’s good. In Quantum Leap he did something quite important; he made it fun. The show wasn’t great, but it was fun and that was down to it’s two leads. I’ve seen Bakula in other things, mainly on Sci Fi where he just didn’t seem to have ‘it’ as much as he did in QL (though his QL co-star Dean Stockwell showed he was still awesome with his portrayal of Cavil in Battlestar Galactica) and even though I cringed hearing he was going to be captain of the Enterprise, I still hoped he’d be fun.

He was anything but.

The entire character was pathetic. He was bland, uninteresting, he was George W in Space (cheers for that OT!) and until the last season the only change in character would be to shout. BECAUSE SHOUTING SHOWS YOU SHOULD TAKE ME FUCKING SERIOUSLY! More importantly to me, it was as if Bakula either a) knew the character was shit and just read the words on the page hoping he’d be paid at the end of the week or b) was wrong for the role.

But was he wrong for the role, or was the character – along with the rest of the show – just dreadful?

I think it’s both. And when it comes to the show itself, I’m going to steal from the discussion…

1978 – Battlestar Galactica – great show, strong characters. New show on the tail of the Star Wars / SciFi craze
2003 – Battlestar Galactica – 25 years after TOS BSG with just G1980 and a few books inbetween, massive cult want for BSG. VERY MUCH thought out to twist on the classic show with a modern spin. Shot in a documentary style that give it more of a visual edge as well as the edgy sub plots the show had.

1966 – TOS Star Trek – great show, strong characters, ground breaking stories parallel current events. Became underground cult GOD!
2001 – Enterprise – 35 years after its original inspiration on the tail of a constant – and sometimes overlapping – exposure of other incarnations of Star Trek. VERY LITTLE thought on making this a modern twist of the classic that can lead into the classic (keep time lines happy). It was the Studio trying to milk more out of its near 40 year franchise with just typical plots, and nostalgic tie ins to the future’s past. That is why Star Trek (2009) was a blockbuster film and Enterprise was called off.
- Cylon Knight

And…

I think BSG was much more of an ensemble show than Enterprise (both lasted 4 years; so it’s a level playing field for comparison that way). After 4 years on BSG, I really felt that I got to KNOW those people (a tribute to the writers and the actors both). On Enterprise? What little I know of Travis is that he grew up on a cargo ship, flies the ship, and smiles a lot (and he once had a thing with a redheaded reporter who looked like a cleaned-up Lindsay Lohan).

For a similar comparison, let’s consider Gaeta on BSG; he sings, he’s bi-sexual, he lost a leg, he went from being a loyal officer to a occupation collaborator/rebel to leading a mutiny against the admiral, and he was executed by a firing squad!

BSG was driven by characters and their growth; not cardboard archetypes.
-Obsolete Toaster

And I can hold Voyager up to the same thing – BSG owned that show in terms of concept. Galactica had MORE than Voyager and yet ended up in the shitter. Voyager? Limited resources, hostile crew, bad situation yet… status quo.

Enterprise and Voyager failed to capitalise on something very important; Difference and change. They tried to milk the same elements of the same franchise and, while Enterprise was more of a failure and did improve in it’s last season, they failed. They killed it.

I won’t say anymore, because I could pick this apart and rant on this for hours. But… let’s hope the next Trek TV series moved forward from the event that sent Spock back and time and kicked off the alternate reality. JJ-Trek was a great way to reinvent a movie franchise. For a TV franchise…?

…well, I do have an incredible multi-year outline…

Paramount, give a call. Or I’ll send Adam Shame round to get you.

I’ve been mentioning one of the latest projects for a little while now so I figured it’s time to reveal a little more. Because if I don’t say something, everyone that’s heard bits and pieces and asked why I’m writing so much lately… well, you’ll get irritated with me brushing you off and likely stab me in the face.

Somewhere in this site I’ve mentioned Gary before. Well, Gary Alexander came up with a concept and we’ve been working on it with a determination to get it filmed for internet broadcast. There are other options, but… this is the kind of project that has far more potential on the internet and with no rules to follow but our own, there’s a lot of freedom in writing something that could be quite funny…

The concept revolves primarily around two young men living together in geeky harmony. Two very different men, with the same problem; women. Whats been written so far see’s them navigating life outside their X Box with their own personal set backs, a common enemy forming and their relationships not completely going to plan. And of course, there are tremendously geeky moments involved.

The plan right now is a thirteen episode format. So far he’s written the first three episodes, as well as the fifth and is currently working hard on the seventh and I’ve done four and six. When we’re at the half way point and seven is finished Gary’s taking a look at the creative direction and I’ll be putting together a rough Block A production schedule and working out some of the production type details with him. Including where to film, what to use, finances and everything in between.

Writing it has been a joy. Not so much for Raven who hears snippets of what we’ve wrote thus far (but she giggled a lot) and even though six was difficult as I drew on a lot of personal experience and background, the process of working with Gary has been great and it’s wonderful to be getting closer to having his vision come to pass.

But… even with some road blocks, writing will be the easy part. In a sense, locations should be quite easy too but financing and cast… that’s the hard part. I’m more worried about cast though, which is a little backwards. To get some of these characters right, the casting needs to be spot on perfect.

I know a lot of creative people, with a lot of ambition and vision and there are hundreds more who’d love to be a part of it all and join the crew. So hopefully you’ll all come out of the woodwork when I ask you and we begin assembling this product which you’ll all hopefully find funny.

Overall – I’m excited. And I’m looking forward, as I’m sure Gary is, to seeing it all come together over the next few months.

And while I’m on the subject of projects – I recently glanced at something in SFX. For those of you who’ve suffered through Year One (which has been re-added to the site, well… part one, anyway, right here) you’ll know that it all boils down to the Iconians working in the background and being evil. Oddly, Star Trek Online has done the same thing. Now, while Year One was for my own amusement, this has annoyed me a little.

Also, the play in the Arches is getting close to production and things should kick off in October. Another exciting project that Rob Drummond the Arches is spearheading and I’m looking forward to it all taking shape.

I’ll be posting more on both as the production goes ahead, and the web-series will gain it’s own little TPM sub-site with even more info coming through as things come together and we head towards the start of production.

But more on that later. For now…

It’s been over a month since I started the funnies thread of the geeky list thing, and it’s time I move forward with some of the classic movie funny men. For me, I looked back at those characters which have stayed with me all these years and made a lasting impression in my mind.

Some of them may not give the hardest laughs, some of them might not come from the best actors in the world, but they’ve all stuck with me for more than a few seconds of giggling. So to start of, I have to go back to 1955…

Doc Brown wouldn’t have worked if anyone else was playing the part. Sometimes it’s odd to think of Lloyd as a shy man when performances like there are wonderfully over the top. He could make one single facial expression funny, and he did many times in the movies. Despite Michael J Fox getting a lot of comedy moments, for some reason Christopher Lloyd always steals the show for me.

Anchorman is like a bad wank. You start off well, it’s really good, but when that moment comes it’s so good that you want to keep going, so you slow down, push on… and when it’s finished you realised you went on ten minutes too long and feel ashamed.

But! The comedy moments were worth it. In the movie, I don’t tell jokes while I masturbate, not after that incident in the park. Brick’s one liners are worth the movie alone, but the arrogance and stupidity brought to life by Will Ferrel’s usual tone makes you love the over the top character.

He’s an idiot, but he’s a competent one who gets the job done despite only worrying about the major problems too late in the game. Hes also a wonderful sadist who doesn’t think twice about his actions and just seems to run on instinct. The performance is so… weird as well as wonderful that Otto is the sole reason I watch this movie.

And so should you.

A graduate of Evil Medical School and hailing from the mean streets of Bruges, Dr. Evil traveled from the 60′s to the nineties as part of an evil plan to overtake the world. And then hilarity ensues. He’s the guy that doesn’t quite get things right, has to struggle with his rebellious son and is just not connected to the world at all. He’s the worst villian ever created. And it’s fun.

Murray wasn’t the initial choice for the movie, but in all honesty I don’t think it would have worked well without him. Venkman is a bit of an oddball sleaze and had the potential to fall into the goofy or cringe worthy categories, but Murray seemed to bring a charm that made Venkman a character to connect with in the land of geeks. even though Winston was the teams every man, Murray was far easier to relate to and took the lead in a way that made the movies classics.

His quirky personality covers the hints of arrogance and greed. In the first movie he’s got a few great moments, but in the second his character grows more than the others when the sleaze is put to rest somewhat with his re-taking of Ellen Ripleys heart.

Unfortunately Bill Murray seems to be taking himself too seriously to reprise the role and quite frankly, he’s too old to do the same gimmick in the never-to-happen-but-rumored-lots Ghostbusters 3. But this was Murray in his prime and without him… I doubt this would have ever got to the level of success and cult love it has.

There are hundreds of great comedy characters in movies, not all from the comedy genre either. But out of all the movies I’ve seen – which sadly, is a ridiculous high number – it’s the above characters which have the full package. Whether that be something to relate to or something that’ll make you laugh out loud. These actors and characters are irreplaceable.

But then, everyone’s got a different opinion and a different taste. So, who’s in your list?

Right, so a lot of moaning minnies have complained I’m not updating enough for them. Damn you, you maniacs! And so forth. I’m just being busy and generally distracted, so before I continue the geeky listings, I thought I’d tell you why I’m distracted.

…one of the distractions is something I’ve been working on. Well, something someone else has been working on and I’ve jumped in to lend a hand. I’ve mentioned Gary before but never explained it. A couple of years ago he sent me a script I quite liked, and not so long ago he did it again! He’s come up with a nice concept that’s too good not to push forward with so, I’ve jumped on board to help out.

I’m not giving the concept away, but I’ve been writing and thinking and plotting for it all and how it’ll come together. He’s done the first few scripts, I’ve just finished a first draft of the fourth (well, a second first draft as the original first draft was lost forcing me to rewrite from memory and partially/mostly start from scratch) and despite me not being thrilled wiht most of it, I’m leaving it to be up for critique before I make any major changes.

What have I learned from this? Well, for one, I’m still trapped in the mindset of coming up with an idea and tying to revolve a plot around it to somehow get it all to make sense. I’m not sure if thats a good thing or not…

…anyway, the thing that started the story, which is yet untitled, was the common incident in my life of standing talking to people I don’t know. It happened not too long ago when it clicked that it was funny. A guy saw me Sauchiehall street and just chatted away. We talked about various things before we parted and I realised I didn’t know the guy at all. This happens to me a lot. Possibly because I’ve been kicked in the head and forget more than I remember.

Anyway, from that stemmed another idea, which stemmed a collection of illegible notes while on my way to a meeting which then resulted in a script – which only really made sense in context the second time around.

So yeah, I’ve been doing that. I’ve also been plotting and thinking, tinkering with Marty’s Sixth Doctor coat (which can be seen on ‘The Chat‘ – which you have to be a TM member to see), fixing my Year One outfit, and generally being brilliant.

Or not so brilliant, in a lot of cases.

I’ve also been not attending an event over the weekend. Which, after some bizarre and somewhat illegable emails from the organizer and a collection of personal attacks from his associates (the most recent being a novel of nonsense from a forum moderator), I’m not exactly gutted about. Considering the reviews I’ve been given personally, I think I was better off staying here writing and training.

The training part was quite interesting as Falcon taught me I can do some more things I never thought I’d be able to. Shame I can’t showcase them…

…and despite one or two people asking if I’ll be wrestling again or can once I give my knees time. I won’t. Before the Fife gig I was barely able to walk without falling over and when training before the match I wasn’t even able to run the ropes without stumbling, which is why I didn’t unleash some of the things I wanted to save for that day, such as the Picard Maneuver. Which is pretty awesome, for my lazy ass anyway.

BUT! I’ll still be around with Falcon and Junior and editing/blogging away at SWA Online. So fear not.

I could say more, but I’m in a hurry. I’m also bored. If you have me on Facebook, you’ll have seen the message – but for anyone else…

…my inbox is filled with spam. I want real messages that will amuse and entertain me. So far I’ve had jokes, filth, conversation and videos – more of that is good. james.tyler@thepicardmaneuver.com

You know you want to.

After a recent conversation with Barry Miller at the recent Battlezone event, and seeing a post by the always wonderfully minded Obsolete Toaster on GBBS, I’ve decided to re-evaluate something I evaluated here before. The Treks. Arguably it’s one of the most successful franchise and one that’s survived several incarnations.

But, while I’m a trek fan – the new name of this site should be a clue – I can still see the bad as well as the good and with the discussion coming up more than once lately, I decided I was bored enough to take another bash at looking back on the franchise.

The 1960′s show was, obviously, the show that started it all, a colourful science fiction drama with a bold captain, a cold alien scientist and a grumpy old country doctor. I do view this through rose tinted glasses and I do forgive some flaws as it was a style of the time thing. You can’t bitch at Citizen Kane for not being in HD. But this show was built around that trio, had some good supporting characters and was very exciting and imaginative for it’s time.

As I said, it was imaginative. Sure, there wer ebudget restraints and looking back it’s cheap and cheesy. But even with those labels it’s still appealing, it’s still good. The science and the look might be dated but the shows speak volumes. A lot of people like to remember it for having strong messages, sometimes it did, but for me the key was giving a bright and hopeful idea of the future wrapped up as an adventure story with all the drama and silliness thrown in.

Sometimes the siliness worked, Tribbles are still good fun and worked a charm in DS9′s re-visiting the episode in an anniversary special. But sometimes there was Spocks Brain. And that wasn’t so good.

The discussion with Barry was interesting. He’s no big Star Trek fan, but he liked Voyager as he said ‘it had a purpose’. We both talked about that problem with TNG – there is no point. Exploring strange new worlds? No they don’t, they go around, have a chat with world’s they’ve known for years and drink tea. Deep Space Nine (my favourite of the lot) to him was a bunch of people sitting around. I get that too, partly.

Voyager had a twist, it had purpose. But as has been mentioned, they didn’t follow through with that purpose. They mentioned their dilemma for several years, tossed in the word ‘rations’ and we even saw them do deals to buy supplies and weapons we never saw again. Supposedly they had little supplies, yet rebuilding the two or three shuttles they had was fine and when they needed to, they built the Delta Flyer. Where did those resources come from?

The Borg… they seemed boring and I got fed up of them. The obvious casting of Jeri ‘doesn’t she look hot in this tight lycra’ Ryan and her taking on the role of not evolving and being very cliche was just dull. It felt as if it became all about her at times and with each Borg appearance, they seemed to become less of a threat.

Add to that Janeway… one week she’d be a by the book captain enforcing the law, the next she’d be changing her mind and being a rebel. Why not just stick with the Starfleet/Maquis command split and have Chakotay push the rebellious, out of the box actions and have Janeway try to stick by the book. That conflict alone adds more story conflict, shows both sides being strong and weak depending on the story, it shows vulnrability and all sorts of new doors could have been opened that, throughout the show, were closed leaving Chakotay being left as a calm, boring and unseen character who could have been so much more, and Janeway comes off as somewhat of a mental.

Then there was Enterprise… there were many factors against it.

Timing. Star Trek had been running solidly on TV in one shape or another since 1987, for seven years there were two on at the same time. The TNG movies, bar one, weren’t doing that well. The product was becoming stale and uninteresting and instead of giving it time, putting it on the shelf for a while and letting it rest – Star trek came back! Again. There just wasn’t enough time to let the audience rest and build interest in the name again.

Casting. I’m sure many people love the memories of Quantum Leap and Scott Bakula has been moderately good in a few TV movies I’ve seen. His interpenetration of Archer ws so bland and so dull, I felt like he may as well have skipped learning the lines and just read from the script on camera. It felt as if there was nothing in that performance, no interest, no passion – just say the words and go to the bank at the end of the week.

Characters. The blatant attempt to revive the TOS trio was awful. Other characters which could have had interesting personas were put aside and there were attempts to spice them up that didn’t make sense.

Writing. It was awful. Sure, there are some episodes I enjoy just like there are some with Voyager. Some are better in retrospect, others are better with lowered expectations. Re-watching the Xindi arc, that was better than remembered (still not great) and just like Voyager it felt like all the challenges made in the plot were swept aside.

When Barry said to me DS9 was just people sitting around, although I could see that (they rarely do any actual work) it was a character driven show, with involvement, that had a story line that wasn’t interesting – so they changed it and brought on the war which was interesting. But it stemmed from that initial plot.

Like anything, there were flaws – but seeing interesting characters, a good cast, good stories and arcs that seem gripping despite knowing the Federation would never lose the war… it just seemed to have the flow, story logic, development and characters that Enterprise and Voyager were scared to do.

I see DS9 as having a new beginning in it’s fourth season with the third building to it. The Bajoran stuff was good, but it wasn’t interesting enough to carry a show and there are only so many times you can write about aliens coming through the wormhole – part of Voyagers problem was ‘how many variations of bumpy forehead can we do?’ – so they rebooted and focused on one mighty civilization, the threat they posed and how that changed everything. With Voyager far away, DS9 had control of the Federation and how it would evolve.

Maybe it will be the show with people sitting around or not doing their actual jobs, I watched one the other day where Dax seemed to be pissed at having to do some actual work, and maybe Voyager and Enterprise had a plot closer to the original one that got everyone interested.

But both for me were a whole heap of undiscovered potential. Voyager in particular was trumped by the BSG re-imagining where, despite having more resources than Voyager, did run into problems. Hell, the entire fleet ate recycled goop because there was nothing else to eat and everyone felt the effects of losing their home and being trapped in their jobs.

With such let downs, is it any surprise the new movie went back to Star Treks roots?

Or have I just put undue pressure on a concept and hoped for more?

There was a comment somewhere about old movies and how Godfather didn’t count as old as it was made in 1974. I didn’t realise it was that old, and when I opened my Google Reader today, I realised time had passed by more quickly than I thought.

While I was busy dealing with some stuff at Battlezone and having an intellectual debate with Eric Canyon, one of my favourite artists in the world of sci fi, John Eaves, was posting this. For those too lazy to click, Back to the Future… it turned twenty five on Saturday.

I remember watching this film when I was a kid and loved every moment of it. It’s weird to think it’s almost as old as I am. For those who are ridiculous enough to have missed out, Back to the Future is the story of Marty McFly traveling back in time by accident after hijacking his mentor’s new invention after some Libyans get all shooty. He ends up in the 50′s, causes some havoc in the space time continuum by bumping into his parents, stopping the event that makes them fall in love.

With help from the 1950′s version of his mentor, Doc Brown, Marty struggles to repair the time line, the time machine and history as he knows it to avoid his family getting deleted from time.

The film had it’s struggles with Zemeckis having two big flops under his belt, the miscasting of Eric Stoltz being rectified by recasting him with their first choice, Michael J Fox and studios not wanting to touch it due to the fact that Marty finds himself in a situation where his teenager mother in the 50′s find him pumpable. But still, it became one of the most iconic and most loved movies of all time and was the biggest money maker in it’s release in 1985.

Casting Fox while he was still in Family Ties was a tough move for the young actor. He’d film for the TV show during the day then work on the movie at night and weekends, probably feeling like a Zombie with the lack of sleep but still pulling off an amazing performance. He wasn’t the only one working around the clock as the film was edited and rushed with crew working 24/7 to make it’s deadline.

Initially the film was going to be based around Marty being a video pirate, the time machine being a fridge and the climax of the movie being set in Nevada but budget concerns and some bizarre safety concerns helped put together some of the best elements of the film. Mainly placing it in a small town and making it revolve around the personal experiences of the cast of characters, which led to a set piece of the town square being built in 1950′s style before being trashed for the run down 80′s scenes.

…but the most iconic change was to switch the refrigerator into something a little more mobile.

Partly due to a joke in the revised script about a farmer mistaking the mode of transport for a flying saucer and partly with the logic that if you had a time machine, you’d want to be able to move around in it, the fridge was ditched in place of a Delorean. The bizarre gull winged extinct car which is somewhat of a collectors item these days, and the work on creating one of these lovely machines was so exact to the actual car that the builders were offered jobs working on future Delorean models.

Anyway, enough of factoids. The movie was considered too light by most studios, not good enough, too risque with the Marty-Lorraine angle and one of the producers was a head case who wanted the movie named Spaceman from Pluto. But now it’s still considered a most-own classic and has been one of the best and most loved movie of the past few decades.

The film was unleashed into cinemas on July 3rd 1985 and it’s success brought on two sequels with Part 2 featuring Marty and the Doc fixing the future, fixing the past and finding themselves in an alternate dimension while Part 3 saw Marty hunting down the Doc after he gets lost in time. Did I mention it had a cartoon too?

It’s astonishing that this twenty-five year old film still hold sup to this day and even the 80′s style doesn’t overshadow as it does in other movies of the time. I seriously don’t doubt this movie will be around for another twenty five years.