Top Ten… James Bond Moments, Part One!
Good evening, Mr. Bond. I’ve been expecting you. Today we’re going to take a look at 007′s ten finest moments from Dr. No to Diamonds Are Forever. During this time Bond was played by Sean Connery for five films and George Lazenby for one, his Bond girls included such beauties as Ursula Andress, Daniela Bianchi, Claudine Auger and Diana Rigg and he fought badguys played by the likes of Robert Shaw, Donald Plesance and Telly Salavas. Regarded by most Bond fans as a golden age, the first seven Bond movies laid the groundwork for everything that followed, so lets take a look at the top ten Bond moments… part one! Onward!
10. “This never happened to the other fellow…”
Replacing Sean Connery in the role of James Bond for the film On Her Majesty’s Secret Service had to have been a bit like being the guy who got Elvis’ gig at the Vegas Hilton after he died: not an enviable task. Enter George Lazenby, a previously unknown Australian with a cleft chin and a Connery haircut who bluffed his way into the role by telling the producers he was a playboy who raced cars for a living. Lazenby made his mark from the get go, dropping to one knee in the opening gunbarrel sequece, rather than simply turning and shooting as Connery had done, but it was his first scene as Bond in the film proper that let us know that this was a new 007. After fighting off some thugs on a beach and wading into the ocean to save the beautiful and haunted Tracy di Vicenzo, Lazenby sighs and directly to camera quips, “this never happened to the other fellow.” Lazenby, as we all know, only appeared in one film and that’s a shame because he makes a great Bond. His acting is perhaps a little stilted, but he movies with a self confident and almost lionlike grace and certainly seems to be able to handle himself in a fight – a must for any actor playing Bond.
9. “I think he got the point.”
Roger Moore is the Bond associated with the witty one-liner, but Connery had his fair share of witticisms. In the openeing sequence of Goldfinger, for example, he throws an electric fan into a bath which a henchman has fallen into, electrocuting the man to death. Bond’s response? “Shocking.” But for my money his one-liner after the death of Emilio Largo’s henchman Vargas in Thunderball is his best. Lying on a beach with his latest sqeeze, Domino Derval, Bond spies Vargas sneaking up behind him. Bond, cool as you like, swings round and fires a harpoon gun at the henchman, pinning him through the chest to a conveniently placed palm tree. “Well,” says Bond, “I think he got the point.” The witty one liner after the death of the badguy is now standard fare in action cinema, but like so many things, nobody does it better than Bond.
8. “Are you looking for shells?”
From the witty joke to the double entendre, another Bond speciality. Take Diamonds Are Forever for example: a young and very well endowed girl in a low cut dress approaches Bond and introduces herself as “Plenty.” Bond: “but of course you are.” Sleazy bastard. In Dr. No, as Bond explores the beach at Dr. No’s island, he comes across Honey Ryder, played by Ursula Andress, looking like Venus herself walking out of the ocean and into cinema history. As Bond approaches, her hand shoots to her knife and she asks, warily, “are you looking for shells?” “No,” comes Bond’s classic reply, “I’m just looking.” Well, at least he’s honest.
7. “I never joke about my work, 007.”
From Russia With Love introduced Desmond Llewlyn as Major Boothroyd, better known as Q, armourer and quartermaster to the 00 section, but it wasn’t until the following film, Goldfinger, that their legendary love/hate relationship would be introduced. Desmond Llewlyn is somewhat nondescript in FRWL so the director of Goldfinger told him that his character would more than likely be frustrated with Bond, after all, Q spends all his time building Bond eqiptment to save his life and Bond continually brings it back in bits. Llelwyn’s sighing, eye rolling performance would turn up in every Bond film until The World is Not Enough (except Live and Let Die) and his performances in such films as Octopussy and License To Kill are fantastic. It was Goldfinger though that set up the character and gave us the classic Q line (in response to “an ejector seat? You’re joking!”) “I never joke about my work, 007.”
6. “A golden girl knows when he’s kissed her…”
Guess who the most photgraphed woman of 1964 was. Raquel Welch? Brigitte Bardot? Ursula Andress? Nope, the answer is Shirley Eaton, the “golden girl” warned about Goldfinger in the main title theme. Killed after becoming allies (amongst other things) with Bond, her death is a particularly nasty one: after a bout of lovemaking with 007, Bond heads into the kitchen to grab some champagne (and make some odd comments about the Beatles) where he is knocked unconcious by Oddjob who proceedes to coat the lovely Miss Eaton in gold paint, causing her to die – slowly and painfully no doubt – of asphyxiation. You see, as Bond explains, when the skin is covered with paint the pores cannot breathe and the person dies. Of course, this is simply not true (as an episode of Mythbusters proved) but it is an effective Bond death and makes Bond realise that Goldfinger is playing for keeps.
5. “We have all the time in the world…”
Remember earlier when I sung the praises of George Lazenby? Well, I’m about to do it again. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is an unusual Bond film for many reasons, primary among them of course is the fact that it’s the film when Bond decides to settle down and get married. Following a montage of Bond and Tracy falling in love to the strains of Louis Armstrong’s classic “We Have All the Time in the World” and the sucessful completion of Bond’s mission, we find Bond and Tracy at their wedding day. After touching exchanges with Q (“this time I’ve got the gadgets”) and Miss Moneypenny (Bond almost shyly throwing her his hat, one last time) Bond heads off into the sunset on his honeymoon with his new bride. Of course, we all know Bond cannot continue his career with his wife in tow a-la The Thin Man so we know something is going to go wrong, and go wrong it does, in spectacularly tragic fashion. Blofeld and Irma Bunt overtake Bond’s car and spray it with bullets – Bond is uninjured and is about to give chase when he notices that Tracy has caught a bullet and is dead. A policeman pulls up behind Bond and finds him cradling his bride in his arms. “It’s alright,” Bond says to the policeman, “it’s quite alright, really. She’s just having a little rest. We’ll be going on soon. There’s no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world.”
4. “She defended her honour with great success.”
People like to say that the Roger Moore era was the era of silliness for Bond with more emphasis on jokes and over-the-top setpeices than espionage. Real Bond fans, of course, know that this is nonsense and that the Connery era had more than enough cheap comedy and overblown action sequences to go round. In fact, Connery only really made (in my opinion) two “serious” spy movies – his first two – and it wouldn’t be until OHMSS that the serious tone would return, before going back into more comedic territory again until For Your Eyes Only in 1981. One of the best action scenes in any Bond films occurs in Connery’s fifth movie You Only Live Twice – the first film to go really OTT with regard to setpeices and action sequences. Bond, working with the Japanese secret service in Tokyo, requests that Q bring him Little Nellie. Little Nellie turns out to be a gyrocopter packed with enough gadgets and firepower to take out a small army – which is exactly what Bond does in a thrilling gyrocopter vs helicopter battle high above the volcanoes of Japan. Over the top? Yes, but still brilliant.
3. “You may know the right wines…”
Movie fights in the fifties and sixties weren’t up to much. As much as I love classic movies, when it came time to throw hands it usually looked a bit phoney at best and downright ridiculous at worst. Look at Captain Kirk’s frequent fistfights in sandpits if you don’t believe me. But then, joy unbounded, From Russia With Love came along and movie fights would never be the same again. Even today, in the face of Daniel Craig’s more intense Bond, the fight between Bond and Red Grant (played by Robert “Jaws” Shaw) still looks brutal with elbows to the face and shoulders to the groin being thrown with equal abandon. Partcularly nasty are the tense moments when Grant has his garotte wire tight around Bond’s neck. It wouldn’t be until the Timothy Dalton era that Bond would reach this level of brutality again, although, admittedley, Roger Moore had his moments.
2. “Do you expect me to talk?”
The Bond films are some of the most iconic movies evrer made with everything from the tuxedoed secret agent to the scar faced villain with the white cat entering popular culture, but perhaps the most famous image (other than the aforementioned golden girl) from the Connery/Lazenby era comes from Goldfinger. After a car chase in his Aston Martin DB5, Bond is captured and strapped to a table with his legs spread. Now, I’m sure 007 has been strapped to tables with his legs spread before, but probably under very different circumstances and probably without having an industrial strength laser making it’s way agonisingly slowly towards his crown jewels. Any other man would break down and start pleading for his life, but for Bond, this is just another day at the office and he manages to bluff his way to freedom. The scene alone would make the list, but what really makes the scene is the exchange between Bond and Goldfinger: “do you expect me to talk?” Bond asks. “No, Mr. Bond,” Goldfinger replies, “I expect you to die!”
1. “I admire your courage, miss…?”
The way a new character is introduced can make or break that character – Darth Vader and his troops blasting his way into the Tantive IV, the Frankenstein monster shuffling backwards into the room and the Ringo Kid twirling his rifle as the camera crash zooms in on his face being just three examples – but perhaps the greatest intro in the history of cinema is the introduction of James Bond in Dr. No. As smoke swirls round a table in a swish London casino a man – seen only from behind – and a woman are engaged in a hand of Chemin de Fer. The man bests the woman, but, undeterred, she continues playing. “I admire your courage, miss…?” the man says by way of introduction. “Trench, Sylvia Trench” comes the answer. Sylvia Trench shoots back: “I admire your luck, Mr…?” The camera at last reveals the man’s face as he lights a ciggarette before answering, “Bond… James Bond.”
I had a hard enough time finding just ten moments from the Connery/Lazenby era, so finding ten moments from the Moore era should be equally difficult. In any case, your mission, 007, is to comment below and check back soon for part two. End transmission.
