10. Ronald Reagan IS… Rick Blaine!

Eventually played by: Humphrey Bogart

To be honest, there’s every chance this is just Hollywood bullshit, but there’s a rumor that wont go away that future president Ronald Reagan was offered the lead in Casablanca, but turned it down. With Reagan in the lead, it would’ve been an acceptable movie; Bogart made it a classic. That said, Bogart became one of the most popular movie stars ever and Regan somehow became one of the most (bafflingly) popular presidents ever, so all’s well that ends well, I guess.

9. Tom Selleck IS… Indiana Jones!

Eventually played by: Harrison Ford

To be honest, this one might have worked. Selleck has that same laconic charm as Harrison Ford (although, admittedly, he has far less of it) and if we couldn’t have Ford, Selleck would’ve done. That said, I don’t think it would’ve turned into the franchise it became with Selleck in the lead.

8. Laurence Olivier IS… Don Corleone!

Eventually played by: Marlon Brando

Another one that I kinda see working. Someone on IMDB commented that Olivier would’ve acted rather than stuffing his cheeks with cotton wool and mumbling, but that’s a bit unfair, methinks. Brando turned in an incredible performance, but surley I’m not the only one who’d love to see what the world’s greatest Shakesperian would’ve done with the role.

7. James Cagney IS… Robin Hood!

Eventually played by: Errol Flynn

Ok, so now we’re getting into the stuff I really don’t see working. Whilst making A Midsummer Night’s Dream with Cagney as Bottom, a studio exec suggested Cagney as Robin Hood. Had Cagney not walked off the Warner Bros. lot, he would’ve been the man in tights and Erroll Flynn would’ve been an also-ran. Cagney is one of my favorite actors, but I can’t imagine him in green tights spitting out dialouge about Normans and Saxons and “every free man in England” in his stacatto Bronx accent.

6. Nicholas Cage IS… Superman!

Eventually played by: Brandon Routh

Believe it or not, there was a while there when the next Superman movie was going to be Kevin Smith’s Superman Lives directed by Tim Burton and starring Nicholas Cage as the Man of Steel. Tim Burton being Tim Burton, this wouldn’t have been a Superman story as we know them, but it would’ve been a Burtonised nightmare starring a hero that looks like that picture above. Still think Brandon Routh sucked?

5. Robert Redford IS… Rocky Balboa!

Eventually played by: Sylvester Stallone

When Sylvester Stallone pitched Rocky to studio executives they were all over the idea like a dog eating beetroot, but with one condition. They didn’t want Stallone – previously seen in only softcore porn and Corman exploitation – playing the lead in his own movie and would much rather have a bankable star as Rocky. Their first choice? Robert Redford. The blonde haired, blue eyed Sundance festival founder as the Itallian Stallion? Apollo would’ve put his ass on the mat in the first round.

4. Christopher Walken IS… Han Solo!

Eventually played by: Harrison Ford.

The part of Han Solo was offered to Harrison Ford, Kurt Russell and Christopher Walken. With Russell in the part I reckon the trilogy would’ve gone ahead much as it did, but with Christopher Walken Captain Solo is something I really can’t imagine. Walken, as awesome as he is, just doesn’t have the laconic charm to play the rougeish Han Solo.

3. Al Pacino IS… John Rambo!

Eventually played by: Sylvester Stallone.

Let me first say that the Rambo of the movies is something very different from the Rambo of the book “First Blood” by David Morrell and, in a pervese sort of way, I can kinda see Al Pacino as the Rambo of the novel, but as the Rambo of the movies – especially First Blood Part II and Rambo III – Al Pacino is about the last guy I’d put in that role. Can you really see Tony Montana stripped to the waist sporting a bandana, a bandolier and a Browning? Thought not.

EDIT: Since posting this, I’ve noticed the astonishing similarity between the two pictures above.  Creepy…

2. Frank Sinatra IS… Harry Callahan!

Eventually played by: Clint Eastwood.

Sinatra might have done it his way, but saints be praised Clint got to do Dirty Harry HIS way. To be fair, Sinatra – in a round about sort of way – played John McLane long before Bruce Willis did (no, really, swear to god – see below) but by the time the seventies rolled around and Dirty Harry went into production, Ol’ Blue Eyes was a little too old to play the eponymous detective. That said, Charles Bronson was pretty awesome in Death Wish despite his advanced years, but seriously, can you really see the Chairman of the Board wielding a .44 Magnum and asking punks if they feel lucky?

1. Adam West IS… James Bond!

Eventually played by: George Lazenby

Yup, you read that right, Adam West was approached to take over from Sean Connery but declined saying that he felt Bond should be British. Now, hear me out. I think Adam West could’ve been a great Bond – he certainly was good looking enough (and certainly looked the part – look at that picture, just add a gun and you have 007), could handle himself physically and was great with a one liner, but perhaps it’s for the best that he never took the part. Among others considered for the role are Richard Burton, Jeremy Brett (if only), Oliver Reed, Christopher Reeve, Burt Reynolds, James Brolin, Steve Reeves (!), Ewan McGregor, Clint Eastwood (really) and Sam Neil.

A note on the Frank Sinatra/John McLane:
John McLane – or, as he was originally named Joe Leland – first appeared in the novel “The Detective” by Roderick Thorp. This movie was made into a film starring Frankie. The novel’s sequel “Nothing Lasts Forever” became the basis for Die Hard with the character renamed John McLane and played by Bruce Willis.

Anyway, leave a comment if you have anything interesting to say. Hell, leave a comment even if you don’t. Something on comics soon, I swear! End transmission.

10. The Monster Squad

Any kid who grew up loving monster movies saw and loved this movie. A group of kids teaming up with Frankenstein’s Monster and Van Helsing to take out Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolf Man and the Creature from the Black Lagoon? Yes, please. A sequel, of course, could’ve brought the Count back with a bunch of new monsters for round two, but sadly our monster kid prayers were never answered.

9. Enter the Dragon

Bruce Lee could’ve been the Asian James Bond had Enter the Dragon been sequelled and made into a series. Unfortunatley, the little issue of Bruce’s death got in the way and what could have been an awesome film series was never to be. Enter the Dragon plays a lot like a Bond movie – the villain even has a Persian Cat – and it’s easy to imagine a series of four or five movies starring Lee being sent to take down various chop socky badguys.

8. The Rocketeer

The Rocketeer is a great characte and a great comic but a pretty forgetable movie made the character pretty much unknown amongst casual movie fans these days. Given the chance to develop with another movie or two, the Rocketeer could easily be as well known today as Indiana Jones or James Bond.  A series about a guy with a jetpack vs all manner of nefearious Nazis and Commies – sounds good to me.

7. Cloverfield

I still hold out hope for a Cloverfield sequel.  The way I see it is we either continue the story or we see the first movie from another angle, be it another group of people with a camera or in a more traditional monster movie style, but either way, I want to see more. The cool thing with Cloverfield was that we, as monster movie fans, know the granite jawed generals ad bespectacled scientists were hard at work somewhere, but we never saw them. A sequel (or, more acurately, an “equal”) told in a more conventional manner would be cool to see.

6. Dracula

The 1979 version starring the great Frank Langella here, I for one would love to see the continuation of the story. The film strongly hints that Dracula perhaps survives the film but, sadly, Langella wasn’t interested – he had played Dracula for years on Broadway before appearing in the movie and he felt it was time to move on. A shame, but not an insurmountble obstacle since Langella was suceeded in the role on stage by none other than Jeremy Brett. Jeremy Brett as Dracula in an unashamedly lavish and romantic sequel to an unashamedly lavish and romantic original? If only.

5. The Shadow

Like Dracula, the ending of The Shadow strongly hints at a sequel, but alas it was never to be. The Shadow is one of my favorite comic book characters so it’s perhaps selfishness on my part to wish there had been at least one sequel, but still, it would’ve been great to see Alec Baldwin back as the living shadow. With a history dating back to 1930, story ideas were hardly thin on the ground, but the film wasn’t the runaway sucess the studio hoped it would be, so any and all sequels were nixed. A real shame – and maybe they could’ve even fixed the makeup and made it less goofy.

4. Conan the Destroyer

To be fair, a new Conan movie is coming out next year, but Oliver Stone and John Millius’ original plan of doing a Conan movie every two years or so and making it an ongoing series a-la 007 sadly never came to fruition. The idea was to bring the Governator back and use a new Robert Howard inspired plot each time, but the failure of Conan the Destroyer to set the box office on fire killed that idea deader than one of Conan’s enemies. There was talk of a new Conan movie with Triple H a while ago, but nothing came of it and, best of all, there were rumours of a movie starring Arnie as King Conan flew around but, sadly, it never happened.

3. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Diamonds Are Forever doesn’t count. What I would loved to have seen is a continuation of the story laid out in OHMSS, starring George Lazenby, and showing Bond trying to deal with the death of Tracy, messing up a mission and being fired by M and then setting out, License to Kill-style, to find and kill Blofeld. Bond in DAF doesn’t seem to give a toss that Blofeld killed his wife, trading barbs with the guy like they’re old sparring partners.

2. Army of Darkness

Regardless of wether we’re talking about the original S-Mart ending or the “I slept too long” ending, Army of Darkness is wide open for a sequel. Ash in the present day wiping out Deadites? Yes, please. Ash in post-apocolyptic England wiping out Deadites? Yes, please. Either way, I’m a happy guy. Or not, as the case may be, since a sequel was never made. With a budget of $11 million and a domestic gross of $11.5 million it’s no surprise that a sequel was never forthcoming, but a guy can dream, right? The real question, of course, is wether it would be called Evil Dead 3 or Army of Darkness 2…

1. Return of the Jedi

You’d think I’d have learned my lesson after the prequel trilogy, but I can’t help but wish Lucas would lure Harrison Ford back into the old waistcoat and convince Mark Hamill to wield a lightsaber three more times and give us episodes VII, VIII and IX. Timothy Zahn already wrote a sequel trilogy, so the stories are there, and it’s not as through Lucas doesn’t have the money, so what’s the hold up? I sat through Indiana Jones 4, so the way I see it is Lucas and Ford *owe* me at least one more Star Wars movie. But please, no Ewoks or Gungans this time, I’m begging you.

Admittedly, if sequels to these movies had been made, there’s every chance they would’ve sucked, but still, it’s fun to imagine what might have been. In any case, gimmie your thoughts below. Something about comics next, I promise. No, really! End transmission.

10. “Never let them see you bleed.”

Q is perhaps the most beloved characters in the Bond franchise acting (along with M) as a sort of father figure to Bond, M being the authoritarian father and Q being the caring father.  His final bow as Q in the movie The World is Not Enough is a beautifully written and acted scene with Q giving Bond one final bit of advice: never let them see you bleed and always have an escape plan.  The fact that Desmond Llelywn died a few months after completing the scene makes it all the more moving.

8. The tank chase.

Connery had the DB5 and Little Nellie, Moore had the Lotus and a speedboat, Brosnan had a BMW and a friggin’ tank.  Rampaging through St. Petersburg in a T55 Battle Tank, this was one of the biggest setpeices ever seen in a Bond movie and after the relativley low key License to Kill, seemed as awesome to Bond fans in 1995 as the LALD speedboat chase seemed in 1973 or the Little Nellie sequence in 1967.

7. Bond chases Saunders’ killer.

Timothy Dalton, along with Jeremy Brett and Udo Keir, is one of the most criminally underrated actors on the planet.  His time as Bond may have been an unhappy one, but the two films he made are both in my top five Bond movies.  After the murder of his ally Saunders in The Living Daylights, Bond gives chase – pretty standard Bond fare, but Dalton’s performance in this one scene packs more of an emotional punch than most actors manage in an entire movie.  Compare Bond’s reaction to Saunders’ death to his reaction to the death of Ferrera in For Your Eyes Only and you’ll see what I mean.

6. The death of Franz Sanchez.

License to Kill is, along with On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and Quantum of Solace, one of the most controversial movie in the Bond canon.  For the first (and only thus far) time, Bond was not acting under the orders of Her Majesty’s Government, but as a vigilante out for revenge.  Bond spends the film tracking down Franz Sanchez, murderer and drug baron, seeking revenge for the death of his friend Della Leiter.  When the time comes there’s no Q Branch gadgets, no Walther PPK and no witty one liners, just a lighter and a lot of petrol.

5. Bond drops in.

Cinemagoers were probably not ready to see a licence to kill-less Bond commit a blantant murder in order to avenge his friend, so it’s no surprise that after License to Kill there would be a six year wait until the next Bond adventure.  After such a long wait, Bond’s return to the screen had to be a spectacular one.  And spectacular it certainly was with Bond bungee jumping over a dam.

4. “You earned it…”

Another example of the hard edge Dalton brought to the character comes in License to Kill when, confronted with the corrupt policeman who helped Sanchez escape, Bond pushes him so he hangs precariously over a tank containing a hungry great white shark.  The policeman tells Bond that a nearby suitcase contains several million dollars and that he’ll share it with Bond if he spares his life.  Bond lifts up the heavy case and hauls it towards the teetering cop, telling him “you earned it – you keep it.”

3. The Q-Boat

Both Connery and Moore took part in speedboat chases (and Dalton uses one to escape a bar brawl in LTK), so it only made sense for Brosnan to have his own.  Of course, a standard speedboat simply wouldn’t do so in The World is Not Enough, Bond “borrows” Q’s latest invention, the Q-Boat.  A chase on the Thames ensues with Bond performing all manner of stunts and gags in the boat, including straightening his tie whilst underwater.  The scene lasts almost a quarter of an hour, making it the longest pre-titles sequence in the series.

2. “I never miss.”

For all his (for want of a better word) niceness, Brosnan did have at least one Dalton-esque moment of cold blooded brutality.  After being betrayed by Electra King, Bond confronts his former lover.  He threatens to put his license to kill to good use and put her out of his misery, but she turns on her womanly wiles and taunts him.  “You won’t kill me,” she purrs, “you’d miss me.”  Before she can say another word, Bond pumps a round square between her eyes and as she lies dead on the bed says, cold as you like, “I never miss.”  Bastard.

1. Bond vs Necros.

This scene from The Living Daylights is not only the best moment from the Dalton/Brosnan era, but also the second best moment in the entire series, not to mention the best fight scene from any movie ever made ever.  Bond and lead henchman Necros end up having a fight on a cargo plane, but, this being Bond, the fight spills out and onto a holding net trailing out the back of the plane.  What’s incredible is to think that, this being the age before CGI, in order to achieve this scene, two stunt men had to hang out the back of a moving plane.  All the safety precautions in the world can’t make that any less awesome.  The fight ends when Bond gets the better of Necros who finds himself hanging onto 007′s foot for dear life.  Bond reaches for his knife and cuts through the lace of his boot, sending the pleading henchman plummetting to his death.  When asked what happened, Bond replies with one of his all time best one-liners: “he got the boot.”

Before anyone asks, no there will not be a fourth part to this.  The Daniel Craig films are, for the most part, unwatchable rubbish and it’s hard to think of three great moments much less ten.  Something about comics next probably, but until then I recommend you get out and re-watch some Bond movies.  They may not all be masterpeices, but they’re sure as hell fun.  End transmission.

10. Bond vs. Scaramanga.

It’s fitting that the climax to the movie where Bond meets his match begins not with a massive firey attack on a volcano or mountain lair, but with a gentlemanly pistols-at-dawn duel. Of course, Scaramanga, being the bad bastard that he is, decides to bail on the duel and lure Bond into his booby trap ridden funhouse. He pays the price for his ungentlemanly conduct though as Bond, disguised as a wax model as himself, shoots the man with the golden gun down.

9. Slipping on the ladder.

A View To A Kill is a hard film to defend. Roger Moore is clearly too old to be a convincing Bond and the overeliance on humor and camp hurts what was already a flawed film. Christopher Walken is a welcome presence as the villain Max Zorin, but on the whole the film is one of the worst in the canon. There is at least one truly great moment, albeit a tiny, almost throwaway moment. As Bond rescues Stacy Sutton from a burning building, there is a brilliant moment where he slips on a fireman’s ladder, almost falling to his death. The music really makes the moment as it swells into the film’s theme when Bond regains his footing.

8. Clowning around.

Considering the Roger Moore era’s reputation, the idea of Bond, dressed as a circus clown trying to defuse an atomic bomb seems like an opportunity for a cheap laugh, but, in keeping with the more serious tone of Octopussy, the scene is played entirley straight and racks up considerable tension. It’s nice to see that Bond has learned how to defuse bombs (he had no idea in Goldfinger) and the scene is one of the most tense in any of the Bond films.

7. The Lotus.

Connery had his Aston Martin and, following some non-descript vehicles in his first two outings, Moore got his iconic Bondmobile in The Spy Who Loved Me: a white Lotus Esprit. Of course, this being a Bond film, Q has made some alterations to the car equping it with rockets, smoke screens and, best of all, the ability to change from a car to a submarine. Let me say that again: the car can turn into a submarine. Like so many other things, when it comes to cool cars, nobody does it better than 007.

6. See you later, aligator.

One of the most famous moments of the Moore era now, and one of the best stunts from any Bond film: the famous, aligator stepping stones scene from Live and Let Die. Trapped on a tiny island and surrounded by hungry alligators and crocodiles, all seems lost for Bond. But, Bond being Bond, he finds an unorthodox way out. Using the advancing crocodillia as stepping stones, Bond hops over his reptilian enemies and onto the saftey of terra firma. The director was so impressed by the stunt that he named the villain of the film after the stuntman who performed it, Ross Kananga.

5. “Desolate, Mr. Bond?”

Moonraker is a underappreciated Bond movie. Sure, it degenerates into sub Star Wars nonsense in the final reels and sure, there’s a bit too much emphasis on silliness, but it has some fantastic moments, including the best main villain death of the Moore era. On Hugo Drax’s space station, Drax has Bond cornered in the airlock, a gun pointed square at his heart. “Desolate, Mr. Bond?” Drax taunts. Bond, in classic 007 style replies with “heartbroken, Mr. Drax?” before shooting Drax through the chest with a wrist mounted dart gun, courtesy of Q branch.

4. Knievel. Evel Knievel.

The AMC Hornet is an uninspired choice for a Bondmobile, but nonetheless, 007 drives one in The Man With The Golden Gun. Roger Moore, as you may have noticed from the Lotus submarine, likes his cars to do more than just drive, and the AMC Hornet was no exception. Not content with merley chasing the baddies down the road, Bond decides to make the Hornet fly. When faced with a broken bridge, Bond drives up one side, does a 360 spin in mid air and lands on the other. The logistics of the stunt had to be worked out on a computer at Cornell University and was performed by stuntman “Bumps” Willard. The decision to add a silly Looney Tunes sound effect in post production almost ruins the entire effect, but the stunt itself is breathtaking.

3. “Where’s Fekkesh?”

People often like to suggest that Moore was somehow too “nice” to be Bond; that he never did anything ruthless and cold blooded, but these people, quite simply, are wrong. Roger Moore’s Bond could be a cold bastard when he needed to be: smacking and threatening the scared and defensless Andrea Anders in TMWTGG, shooting Stromberg four times in cold blood in TSWLM, threatening to kill the unarmed Rosie Carver in LALD and, of course, the killing of Sandor in TSWLM. After a fight on an Egyptian rooftop, Bond knocks Sandor over the edge of the roof. Sandor grasps wildly at the air and his hands find Bond’s tie, to which he holds on to for dear life. Bond allows the man to hold on and asks “where’s Fekkesh?” As soon as Sandor tells Bond what he wants to know, Bond slaps his hand away causing Sandor to plummet to his death.

2. Emile Locque: RIP.

Further proof that Roger Moore’s Bond was more of a badass than people rememeber him comes in For Your Eyes Only. After pumping several rounds into a car being driven by henchman Emile Locque, Bond finds the car precariously hanging on the edge of a cliff with an injured Locque inside. Locque had previously killed Bond’s ally Ferrara and so Bond aims a hefty boot at the side of the car and sends it plunging over the cliff. No witty one liners, no sardonic smile, no nothing – just a cold blooded example of Bond putting his license to kill to good use.

1. “So does England!”

My personal favorite moment from the entire Bond series, Bond’s ski jump in The Spy Who Loved Me is as iconic as it gets. After the gunbarrel sequence we find Bond in a cabin in Austria and, to quote Alan Partridge, “yes, he’s with a lady.” A message comes through on Bond’s watch-communicator-gadget and Bond leaves saying, in classic Bond fashion, “something’s come up.” “But James,” his lady protests, “I need you!” “So does England” responds 007 and heads off down the hill. Of course, this being a Bond movie he is chased by a group of Russians intent on Bond’s death. Bond skis off a cliff and for a long, long moment, it appears as though Bond has met his end, but, at the last possible second, he pulls a ripcord and parachutes to earth, guided safely down by a giant Union Jack parachute. Nobody – nobody – does it better.

After Roger Moore, of course, came the criminally underrated Timothy Dalton for two films and Peirce “knitting catalouge model” Brosnan for four. We’ll be looking at the top ten moments from those films next time, but until then gimmie your thoughts on the Moore era and return your equipment to Q branch. End transmission.

10. “This never happened to the other fellow…”

Replacing Sean Connery in the role of James Bond for the film On Her Majesty’s Secret Service had to have been a bit like being the guy who got Elvis’ gig at the Vegas Hilton after he died: not an enviable task. Enter George Lazenby, a previously unknown Australian with a cleft chin and a Connery haircut who bluffed his way into the role by telling the producers he was a playboy who raced cars for a living. Lazenby made his mark from the get go, dropping to one knee in the opening gunbarrel sequece, rather than simply turning and shooting as Connery had done, but it was his first scene as Bond in the film proper that let us know that this was a new 007. After fighting off some thugs on a beach and wading into the ocean to save the beautiful and haunted Tracy di Vicenzo, Lazenby sighs and directly to camera quips, “this never happened to the other fellow.” Lazenby, as we all know, only appeared in one film and that’s a shame because he makes a great Bond. His acting is perhaps a little stilted, but he movies with a self confident and almost lionlike grace and certainly seems to be able to handle himself in a fight – a must for any actor playing Bond.

9. “I think he got the point.”

Roger Moore is the Bond associated with the witty one-liner, but Connery had his fair share of witticisms. In the openeing sequence of Goldfinger, for example, he throws an electric fan into a bath which a henchman has fallen into, electrocuting the man to death. Bond’s response? “Shocking.” But for my money his one-liner after the death of Emilio Largo’s henchman Vargas in Thunderball is his best. Lying on a beach with his latest sqeeze, Domino Derval, Bond spies Vargas sneaking up behind him. Bond, cool as you like, swings round and fires a harpoon gun at the henchman, pinning him through the chest to a conveniently placed palm tree. “Well,” says Bond, “I think he got the point.” The witty one liner after the death of the badguy is now standard fare in action cinema, but like so many things, nobody does it better than Bond.

8. “Are you looking for shells?”

From the witty joke to the double entendre, another Bond speciality. Take Diamonds Are Forever for example: a young and very well endowed girl in a low cut dress approaches Bond and introduces herself as “Plenty.” Bond: “but of course you are.” Sleazy bastard. In Dr. No, as Bond explores the beach at Dr. No’s island, he comes across Honey Ryder, played by Ursula Andress, looking like Venus herself walking out of the ocean and into cinema history. As Bond approaches, her hand shoots to her knife and she asks, warily, “are you looking for shells?” “No,” comes Bond’s classic reply, “I’m just looking.” Well, at least he’s honest.

7. “I never joke about my work, 007.”

From Russia With Love introduced Desmond Llewlyn as Major Boothroyd, better known as Q, armourer and quartermaster to the 00 section, but it wasn’t until the following film, Goldfinger, that their legendary love/hate relationship would be introduced. Desmond Llewlyn is somewhat nondescript in FRWL so the director of Goldfinger told him that his character would more than likely be frustrated with Bond, after all, Q spends all his time building Bond eqiptment to save his life and Bond continually brings it back in bits. Llelwyn’s sighing, eye rolling performance would turn up in every Bond film until The World is Not Enough (except Live and Let Die) and his performances in such films as Octopussy and License To Kill are fantastic. It was Goldfinger though that set up the character and gave us the classic Q line (in response to “an ejector seat? You’re joking!”) “I never joke about my work, 007.”

6. “A golden girl knows when he’s kissed her…”

Guess who the most photgraphed woman of 1964 was. Raquel Welch? Brigitte Bardot? Ursula Andress? Nope, the answer is Shirley Eaton, the “golden girl” warned about Goldfinger in the main title theme. Killed after becoming allies (amongst other things) with Bond, her death is a particularly nasty one: after a bout of lovemaking with 007, Bond heads into the kitchen to grab some champagne (and make some odd comments about the Beatles) where he is knocked unconcious by Oddjob who proceedes to coat the lovely Miss Eaton in gold paint, causing her to die – slowly and painfully no doubt – of asphyxiation. You see, as Bond explains, when the skin is covered with paint the pores cannot breathe and the person dies. Of course, this is simply not true (as an episode of Mythbusters proved) but it is an effective Bond death and makes Bond realise that Goldfinger is playing for keeps.

5. “We have all the time in the world…”

Remember earlier when I sung the praises of George Lazenby? Well, I’m about to do it again. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is an unusual Bond film for many reasons, primary among them of course is the fact that it’s the film when Bond decides to settle down and get married. Following a montage of Bond and Tracy falling in love to the strains of Louis Armstrong’s classic “We Have All the Time in the World” and the sucessful completion of Bond’s mission, we find Bond and Tracy at their wedding day. After touching exchanges with Q (“this time I’ve got the gadgets”) and Miss Moneypenny (Bond almost shyly throwing her his hat, one last time) Bond heads off into the sunset on his honeymoon with his new bride. Of course, we all know Bond cannot continue his career with his wife in tow a-la The Thin Man so we know something is going to go wrong, and go wrong it does, in spectacularly tragic fashion. Blofeld and Irma Bunt overtake Bond’s car and spray it with bullets – Bond is uninjured and is about to give chase when he notices that Tracy has caught a bullet and is dead. A policeman pulls up behind Bond and finds him cradling his bride in his arms. “It’s alright,” Bond says to the policeman, “it’s quite alright, really. She’s just having a little rest. We’ll be going on soon. There’s no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world.”

4. “She defended her honour with great success.”

People like to say that the Roger Moore era was the era of silliness for Bond with more emphasis on jokes and over-the-top setpeices than espionage. Real Bond fans, of course, know that this is nonsense and that the Connery era had more than enough cheap comedy and overblown action sequences to go round. In fact, Connery only really made (in my opinion) two “serious” spy movies – his first two – and it wouldn’t be until OHMSS that the serious tone would return, before going back into more comedic territory again until For Your Eyes Only in 1981. One of the best action scenes in any Bond films occurs in Connery’s fifth movie You Only Live Twice – the first film to go really OTT with regard to setpeices and action sequences. Bond, working with the Japanese secret service in Tokyo, requests that Q bring him Little Nellie. Little Nellie turns out to be a gyrocopter packed with enough gadgets and firepower to take out a small army – which is exactly what Bond does in a thrilling gyrocopter vs helicopter battle high above the volcanoes of Japan. Over the top? Yes, but still brilliant.

3. “You may know the right wines…”

Movie fights in the fifties and sixties weren’t up to much. As much as I love classic movies, when it came time to throw hands it usually looked a bit phoney at best and downright ridiculous at worst. Look at Captain Kirk’s frequent fistfights in sandpits if you don’t believe me. But then, joy unbounded, From Russia With Love came along and movie fights would never be the same again. Even today, in the face of Daniel Craig’s more intense Bond, the fight between Bond and Red Grant (played by Robert “Jaws” Shaw) still looks brutal with elbows to the face and shoulders to the groin being thrown with equal abandon. Partcularly nasty are the tense moments when Grant has his garotte wire tight around Bond’s neck. It wouldn’t be until the Timothy Dalton era that Bond would reach this level of brutality again, although, admittedley, Roger Moore had his moments.

2. “Do you expect me to talk?”

The Bond films are some of the most iconic movies evrer made with everything from the tuxedoed secret agent to the scar faced villain with the white cat entering popular culture, but perhaps the most famous image (other than the aforementioned golden girl) from the Connery/Lazenby era comes from Goldfinger. After a car chase in his Aston Martin DB5, Bond is captured and strapped to a table with his legs spread. Now, I’m sure 007 has been strapped to tables with his legs spread before, but probably under very different circumstances and probably without having an industrial strength laser making it’s way agonisingly slowly towards his crown jewels. Any other man would break down and start pleading for his life, but for Bond, this is just another day at the office and he manages to bluff his way to freedom. The scene alone would make the list, but what really makes the scene is the exchange between Bond and Goldfinger: “do you expect me to talk?” Bond asks. “No, Mr. Bond,” Goldfinger replies, “I expect you to die!”

1. “I admire your courage, miss…?”

The way a new character is introduced can make or break that character – Darth Vader and his troops blasting his way into the Tantive IV, the Frankenstein monster shuffling backwards into the room and the Ringo Kid twirling his rifle as the camera crash zooms in on his face being just three examples – but perhaps the greatest intro in the history of cinema is the introduction of James Bond in Dr. No. As smoke swirls round a table in a swish London casino a man – seen only from behind – and a woman are engaged in a hand of Chemin de Fer. The man bests the woman, but, undeterred, she continues playing. “I admire your courage, miss…?” the man says by way of introduction. “Trench, Sylvia Trench” comes the answer. Sylvia Trench shoots back: “I admire your luck, Mr…?” The camera at last reveals the man’s face as he lights a ciggarette before answering, “Bond… James Bond.”

I had a hard enough time finding just ten moments from the Connery/Lazenby era, so finding ten moments from the Moore era should be equally difficult. In any case, your mission, 007, is to comment below and check back soon for part two. End transmission.