10. Ghostface from Scream (1996)

One of the most recognised characters in recent horror history, the Edvard Munch inspired killer from the Scream movies would’ve placed way higher on this list if not for one thing: lazy people. Go to any Haloween party anywhere in the world and you’ll see at least nineteen thousand lazy assholes who bought a 5.99 Scream costume and a rubber knife. It’s been done to death and I’m sick of seeing it. If at any point in your life you’ve gone to a Haloween party dressed as Ghostface, then begone from this site and never darken my door again.

9. The Robot Gunslinger from WestWorld (1973)

Ok, this might be a wierd choice, but hear me out. A silent, black clad, sinister figure with inhuman strength and resiliance who has a single minded determination to kill and no matter how many times you think you’ve killed him he keeps on coming back to get you. Is that Michael Myers or the Robot Gunslinger? I rest my case. Yul Brynner’s brilliantly sinister send up of his heroic man in black from The Magnificent Seven, the Robot Gunslinger from WestWorld is a proto-slasher villain. As is…

8. The Xenomorph from Alien (1979)

Again, supernaturally strong and resiliant, black in colour, fucking terrifying and determinded to get the kill; a silent killer stalking the crew of the Nostromo down spooky corridors. Like the best slasher villains, the Alien eventually kills all but one of the crew – in classic slasher style, a resiliant young woman – before eventually being outwitted and killed.

7. Santa Claus from Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Santa Claus, that jolly old elf who brings love and joy at Christmastime seems like an odd choice for a slasher villain, but that’s the point. Kinda like how the Joker (except in The Dark Knight) doesn’t seem scary at first, Santa Claus is a character that kids and adults instinctivley trust. Santa would never do anything bad, right? Wrong. In the US, there was public outcry when this film was released, with people picketing in the streets, complaining that the movie ruined Santa’s “good name.” Proof positive, ladies and gentlemen, that some people have way to much time on their hands.

6. Chucky from Child’s Play (1988)

Exploiting the same kind of dictomtomy that Silent Night, Deadly Night used (with a liberal dose of that Twilight Zone episode with the talking doll thrown in too) the evil doll from the Child’s Play series just misses out on a stop in the top five. Voiced by the emminently creepy Brad Dourif, Chucky has appeared in five movies as well as, bizarrley, a WCW pay-per-view. Played reasonably straight in the original, Chucky has, like Freddy Krueger, become more and more of a clown as the series progressed, with his last two outings in particular being played more for laughs than scares.

5. Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Whilst many slasher movie badguys are blamed for inspiring real-life violence, only a handful have themselves been inspired by real-life events. One such fictional killer is Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw series. Like, Chucky, later movies in the series were more comedy than horror, so let’s concertrate on the original movie in which Leatherface is less a human killer and more an elemental force of nature, bursting, chainsaw screaming, from doorways and hiding places, killing with an inhuman rage. Inspired by the killer Ed Gein (more on him later), Leatherface was played by Gunnar Hansen in the original Tobe Hooper classic. The remake, though not as good as the original, is still worth a watch, if only for Jessica Biel in a tight t shirt.

4. Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th (1980)

Slasher villains seem to fall into two camps: the flamboyant wisecrackers like Freddy and Chucky and the silent but deadly types like Michael Myers and, of course, Jason Voorhees. Jason’s hockeymasked visage (the first two movies notwithstanding) is one of the most famous images of modern horror and it’s testament to the popularity of the character that he was chosen to face off against Fred Krueger in Freddy vs. Jason (which could easily have been Freddy vs. Michael). A lot of people tend not to give Jason a fair swing of the machette, probably due to memories of watching one of the pretty dire later sequels, but the original movie, and the second and third sequels (that’s parts 3 and 4 for those not paying attention) are well worth another look, especially if you’ve not seen them in a while.

3. Norman Bates from Psycho (1960)

The grandaddy – or, more accuratley, the grandmother – of them all. Every deranged wierdo who ever grabbed something sharp and slaughtered some hotties in the woods owed his very existence to Norman Bates. Or, to give the devil his due, to Ed Gein, who provided the inspiration for young Master Bates (couldn’t resist). A killer from the backwoods of Wisconisin, Gein’s catalouge of atrocities included using human bones and skin to make furniture, keeping a collection of female naughty bits (including his mother’s painted silver) in a shoebox under his bed and, most disturbingly, dancing in the moonlight wearing a suit made out of the skin of his victims. Norman Bates never went quite that far, but, for better or worse, he still gave birth to the slasher genre.

2. Michael Myers from Halloween (1978)

Probably the first slasher villain of modern horror, John Carpenter’s silent, deadly and seemingly immortal creation Michael Myers has made the 31st of October a pain in the arse for the resisdents of Haddonfield since 1978. Originally known as “The Shape” Myers immediatley became a sensation and an icon of horror, wisely being kept mostly in the shadows or around the edge of the frame in the original to build up his mystique, but even the overexposure of the later films (not to mention the travesty that was the Rob Zombie remake) cannot tarnish his reputation as silent killer per excellence.

1. Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

“Welcome to prime time, bitch!” When Wes Craven cast Robert Englund as the villain in A Nightmare on Elm Street, the horror gods smiled and the planets alligned and history was made. Not since the days of Karloff and Lugosi had a horror actor meshed so perfectly with the character he played and, until the end of time, one would not be the same without the other. This fact was borne out by the recent remake which saw Jackie Earle Haley fail to achieve the sort of instant iconic-ness that Englund achieved so effortlessly. Starting life as a more-or-less serious killer, the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise saw the evolution of Freddy from evil bastard to evil-but-damn-funny bastard as he cracked wise and quipped his way through the teens of Elm Street. Whether you prefer serious Freddy or funny Freddy, you always have to remember one thing: whatever you do, don’t fall asleep…

Slasher movies tend to polarise horror fans. As I mentioned in the intro, I was a classic horror snob for many years and refused to even give slasher movies the time of day, but when I finally got off my high horse I realised that there’s not only some really good filmmaking on display (well, sometimes) but also a lot of fun to be had. If you’re like I once was, check out a few of the more well known titles like the original Nightmare or Halloween, or if you’re the exact opposite and you love modern horror but aren’t so keen on the classics, Psycho is probably a good place to start. Either way, gimmie your thoughts in the comments and stick around for our next list. End transmission.

10. Gary Oldman; or, the Goth Dracula

From the movie Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) directed by Francis Ford Coppla
Right off the bat (bat, geddit?) let me say that I do not care for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It’s a breathtaking film to look at, but almost every perfomance in the film is uniformly terrible and Gary Oldman as Dracula is inexplicably popular with people who don’t really like Dracula movies. Playing up the “he’s really Vlad the Impaler” angle, Oldman’s Dracula starts the film as a old white-skinned guy with boobs on his head and ends the film as a distinctly Ann Riceian proto-goth with long hair and a grey stovepipe hat. There’s very little menace in his performance and he seems to be more concerned with taking Winnona Ryder to dinner than drinking her blood.

9. John Carradine; or, the Elegant Dracula

From the movie House of Frankenstein (1944) directed by Erle Kenton
With his white moustache and jauntily askew top hat, Carradine looked more like a Missisippi riverboat gambler than a vampire Count. Unfortunatley written as a bit of a milqetoast wuss, Dracula isn’t given much to do in House of Frankenstein or its sequel House of Dracula. However Carradine played Dracula several more times in his career, most notably in the woeful Billy the Kid versus Dracula.

8. Udo Kier; or, the Warhol Dracula

From the movie Blood For Dracula (1974) directed by Paul Morrissey
I’ve written before about Udo Kier on this site and I’m afraid I’m going to have to repeat myself. The fact that Udo Keir isn’t in every movie ever made is tragic. One of the most underrated actors alive, Kier is nothing short of brilliant in everything he’s in and Blood For Dracula is no exception. Sounding suspiciously German for a Transylvanian Count (but we can’t hold that against him given Langella’s American accent, Lee’s English accent and Olman’s ludicrous accent) Keir’s Dracula is only able to drink virgin blood and so moves to Italy in search of virgins. Suffice to say he does not find them and becomes ill after drinking tainted blood. Undoubtedly one of the creepiest screen Draculas.

7. Max Schreck; or, the Anti Dracula

From the movie Nosferatu (1922) directed by F.W. Murnau
The odd one out on this list since Schreck isn’t strictly speaking playing Dracula, but Graf Orlock. Depending on the print of the movie you watch, Schreck’s character is named either Orlock or Dracula (the Dracula print is more common these days than the Orlock print) but it’s clear to anyone with even a basic understanding of the novel or the story behind the making of Nosferatu that Orlock = Dracula. The only actor on today’s list to play the Count as a horrific monster rather than an urbane sophisicate, Shreck’s version of Dracula is every bit as iconic as Lugosi or Lee, but the fact that it is *so* far removed from the classic image of Dracula explains its low place on the list.

6. Jack Palance; or, the Animalistic Dracula

From the TV movie Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1973) directed by Dan Curtis
Like Gary Oldman’s Dracula, Jack Palance’s version of the Count is presented as being one and the same with Vlad Tepes. The first film to introduce the now standard “long lost love” angle, Palance’s Dracula doesn’t beat you over the head with this angle like Oldman, preferring to remain somewhat ambigulous about the whole affair. Presenting an intense and at times animalistic Dracula, Palance’s Count is as scary as he is tragic.

5. Orson Welles; or, the Radio Dracula

From the Mercury Theatre’s radio production Dracula (1938) directed by Orson Welles
Regal, magisterial and capturing the very essence of Dracula, Orson Welles’ performance as the Count on his Mercury Theatre On The Air program is to this day spellbinding and breathtaking. Welles, a personal hero of mine and perhaps the greatest genius of the 20th Century, was reciting Shakespeare at the age of two, giving lectures at college at the age of ten, wrote a book on Shakespeare that is still used to this day at eighteen, changed the face of broadway (twice!) in his twenties, made a fortune in radio at the age of twenty two and directed the greatest movie of all time before his twenty fifth birthday. Is it any wonder, therefore, that his perfomance as Dracula (at the age of 23!) is one of the greatest of all time?

4. Louis Jourdan; or the Urbane Dracula

From the BBC miniseries Count Dracula (1977) directed by Phillip Saville
Louis Jourdan (of Gigi and Octopussy fame) might seem like a strange choice to play Count Dracula, but play him he did in a 1977 BBC miniseries and his performance is one of the very best. Playing Dracula as an urbane sophisticate but with novel-mandated sharp nails and hairy palms, Jourdan gives us a calculated and seductive evil. Despite a few dodgy special effects, the miniseries is a minor masterpeice that not enough people have seen. If you’re one of these people and if you’re a genre fan, I strongly recommend it to you, if not for Jourdan’s chilling Dracula then for Frank Finlay’s Van Helsing: for my money the best Van Helsing ever.

3. Frank Langella; or, the Romantic Dracula

From the movie Dracula (1979) directed by John Badham
Stephanie Meyer, Ann Rice and Gary Oldman take note: *this* is how you do a romantic vampire. Like Bela Lugosi before him, Frank Langella played Dracula on Broadway before commiting his performance to film. A victim of his era, Langella’s bouffant disco hair and Tom Jones open necked shirts might put some people off, but once you get past the glorious Seventies-ness of his look you’ll find a brilliant performance by one of the most underrated actors ever. Playing the Count as a romantic lover rather than an evil bastard, Langella’s Dracula is the kind of guy that men want to be and women want to be with. Acting rings round Lord Lawrence Olivier, Langella seduces his way through the movie, but isn’t afraid to turn up the heat when nessecary, swooping down on Renfield like a giant badass bat and breaking his neck without a second thought. Sadly the only version of the movie available on DVD has, for some reason, had all the colour stripped out of it leaving it looking almost like a black and white move. But worry not, some fiddling with the colour and contrast settings on your TV soon restore it to its full glory.

BONUS DRACULA!
Frank Langella was replaced in the role of Dracula by the great Jeremy Brett who made such an awesome Dracula that I couldn’t leave him out. So here is is, in all his vampiric awesomness.

Elementary, my dear Dr. Van Helsing!

2. Bela Lugosi; or, the Archetypal Dracula

From the movie Dracula (1931) directed by Todd Browning
Whenever the name Dracula is mentioned the first thing that comes to most people’s minds is the image of Bela Lugosi, his velvet lined cape draped over his shoulders, his eyes blazing, his mouth twisted into a sadistic smile and his hand beckoning you towards him. The definitive image of Dracula, Lugosi not only gave us the classic image of Dracula but also forever defined what Dracula is supposed to sound like, his velvet smooth Hungarian accent making potentially cheeseball lines like “I never drink… wine” and “the blood is the life” seem genuinley unsettling and eerie. Trapped forever in the Dracula role, Lugosi played similar characters in such films as Mark of the Vampire, Return of the Vampire and Plan Nine From Outer Space, but 80 years on he is still the most famous Dracula ever.

1. Christopher Lee; or, the Ultimate Dracula

From the movie Horror of Dracula (1958) directed by Terrance Fisher
This is the third time Christopher Lee’s Count has made the number one spot on a list (top ten movie vampires and top ten Hammer horror movies) so regular readers might have predicted who was going to be in the top spot. Lee’s Dracula is a combination of the best parts of every other Dracula on this list: the sauveness of Carradine, the animalistic intensity of Palance, the allure of Langella and the iconicness (it’s a word now, dammit) of Lugosi combined to make the perfect Dracula. Dispensing with any lost love rubbish, Lee’s Dracula isn’t a charmer who seduced women, his biting scenes often have an uncomfortable overtone of rape to them, with him forcing himself upon his victims who, until the realised he was going to bite them and not fuck them, were more than willing to let him into their bedrooms. Energetic and deeply primal, Lee represents not only an undead aristocrat but a force of nature that will stop at nothing to get his way.

So there you go. The Top Ten (movie or otherwise) Draculas. But there’s one very important version of the Count that I missed? Any ideas? No? Well, have a look at…

Count Dracula

From the novel “Dracula” (1897) by Bram Stoker
Dracula may have more screen apperances under his belt than any other monster, but in the countless adaptations of Stoker’s original novel not one has presented us with Dracula as he was originally written. I’ll hand it over to Stoker for a description:
“His face was a strong-a very strong-aquiline, with high bridge of the thin nose and peculiarly arched nostrils; with lofty domed forehead, and hair growing scantily round the temples, but profusely elsewhere. His eyebrows were very massive, almost meeting over the nose, and with bushy hair that seemed to curl in its own profusion. The mouth, so far as I could see it under the heavy moustache, was fixed and rather cruel-looking, with peculiarly sharp white teeth; these protruded over the lips, whose remarkable ruddiness showed astonishing vitality in a man of his years. For the rest, his ears were pale and at the tops extremely pointed; the chin was broad and strong, and the cheeks firm though thin. The general effect was one of extraordinary pallor.”
It was this Dracula that appeared on a stamp in 1997 (along with the Frankenstein Monster – labelled as per bloody usual as just “Frankenstein” – Jekyll and Hyde and the Hound of the Baskervilles.)

The closest anyone has come is Christopher Lee in the Jess Franco movie Count Dracula, but sadly, after a strong opening, that movie kinda falls apart. Still worth tracking down if you’re a genre fan.

On the radio Orson Welles, had the advantage of not having to show his face, but his use of a strong accent differs from Stoker’s vampire Count who spoke with no trace of an accent. Perhaps one day Hollywood will give us Dracula as Stoker intended, but sadly, no interpretatin of the Count has come close.

Dracula is perhaps the most famous villain in all of fiction and he is endlessly fascinating. Whether Gary Oldman, Frank Langella, Gerard Butler, Bela Lugosi or even Leslie Nielsen is in the part, the character of Count Dracula is guaranteed to bring in an audience. Did I overlook your favorite Dracula? Let me know below. End transmission.

10. Lon Chaney, Jr. in The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942)

Lurching out of the lab first comes Lon Chaney, Jr. Son of silent movie legend Lon Chaney, Chaney, Jr. was always destined to be a horror movie actor and after his star-making turn in The Wolf Man he was the obvious choice to fill the (sizeable) boots of Boris Karloff. Playing the part as a silent brute with almcost none of the pathos of Karloff’s performance, the Lonster nonetheless turned in a somewhat memorable performance in what is probably the most fun of the Universal Frankenstein movies.

9. David Prowse in Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell (1974)

The body of Darth Vader and darling of slightly rubbish sci fi and comic conventions, Dave Prowse played the Monster in Horror of Frankenstein, but turns in better performance in Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell, the last of the Hammer Frankenstein movies. Encased in a bulky body suit, this Monster was almost troglodytic in both apperence and demeanor and, despite the low budget makeup and body suit, Prowse does manage to bring some pathos to the doomed creature.

8. Bela Lugosi in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)

Remembered by most as one of the worst Frankenstein Monsters in cinema history, I feel that Lugosi has been short changed by time. Yes, he’s far too old and frail looking to play the Monster, but here’s the thing: In the climax of Ghost of Frankenstein, the Monster has the brain of his friend Ygor (Lugosi) implanted into his head but the experiment goes wrong and the Monster goes blind. Ok, so a blind Monster with Bela Lugosi’s brain in his skull. Good stuff. And that’s how Lugosi played the part, speaking in his own voice and groping at the air, his arms held out in front of him. Problem is, all references to the Monster’s blindness were cut, as was all of Lugosi’s dialouge, rendering him ridiculous. Of course, whenever anyone does an impression of the Frankenstein Monster they hold their arms out and grunt, doing Lugosi’s Monster rather than Karloff’s. So I guess, in a round about way, Lugosi got the last laugh after all.

7. Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein (1974)

Mel Brook’s affectionate – and damn funny – spoof of the Frankenstein movies produced at Universal is one of the all time classic horror movies, and probably my favorite Mel Brooks movie. Peter “Ray’s dad off of Everybody Loves Raymond” Boyle plays the Monster somewhere between Boris Karloff and Fred “Herman Munster” Gwyne. Gene Wilder turns in a typically brilliant performance as Freddy Frankenstein and Terri Garr is almost painfully cute as Inga, but the film is stolen by Marty Feldman’s hunchbacked Eye-Gore and Peter Boyle’s Monster. The scene with Gene Hackman as the blind hermit and the song and dance number with the Monster and Freddy tapdancing their way through “Puttin’ on the Ritz” are worth the price of admission alone.

6. Christopher Lee in The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)

The Hammer Frankenstein series made a radical departure from the Universal series by chosing to follow the adventures of Peter Cushing’s Baron Frankenstein than the adventures of his Monster. The Baron created a new Monster in each film, starting with Christopher Lee in The Curse of Frankenstein. Lee, an actor capable of bringing incredible depth to his performances (when he puts his mind to it, but to be fair, most of the time he just plays Christopher Lee), plays the Monster more like Lon Chaney than Boris Karloff, but there are moments when a spark of humanity shines though and we feel the tragedy of the Monster. The makeup is as far removed from the Universal design as it gets nd it’s testament to the genius of Roy Ashton that it managed to become an icon of Hammer horror. If only Lee had played the Monster more in line with the way he played the Mummy, then his performance would’ve ranked far higher on this list.

5. Freddie Jones in Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed! (1969)

Freddie Jones is perhaps more famous as a director than an actor, which is a shame because he was a great actor occassionally touched by brilliance: his performance, for example, as Bytes in The Elephant Man is one of the standout performances in a film packed with heavyweight thespians. In Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed he plays a sensitive and misunderstood Monster

4. David Warner in Frankenstein (1984)

David Warner’s touching performance as the Monster makes number five on our list. Thoughtful and articulate, the Monster in this version of the story is much closer to Mary Shelley’s intentions; indeed, the Monster is disfigured by a fire in this version, rather than being a mess of stitches and dead flesh. The scene where the childlike Monster meets his creator (Rober Powell looking creepily like a young Peter Cushing) is heartbreaking as the Monster kneels before Frankenstein in adulation, believing him to be God.

3. Glenn Strange in House of Frakenstein (1944)

This is maybe an odd choice for the number three spot on this list, but hear me out. Glenn Strange played the Monster three times: House of Frankenstein (1944), House of Dracula (1945) and the classic comedy Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) and, sadly, in two of those three movies, he isn’t given much to do, spending most of the movie on his back on a lab table until being brought to life in the final reel for a lurch around the lab. That said, when it came time for Aroura to make their line of classic monster model kits, they based the Frankenstein’s Monster model on Glenn Strange and thus, for a generation of monster kids, Glenn Strange was the face of the Frankenstein Monster. Couple this with the fact that that Glenn Strange was the only actor who managed to look legitametley frightening in the Jack Peirce makeup (with the exception of Karloff in the original) and you have an iconic representation of Frankenstein’s creation.

2. Charles Ogle in Frankenstein (1910)

Speaking of men looking scary, it’s fitting that one of the first even monsters seen on film – Charles Ogle as Frankenstein’s Monster in the first ever Frankenstein movie – is to this day one of the best and scariest monsters ever filmed. Produced by the Edison company, Frankenstein may be the first horror movie ever made and it was considered lost for many years. Genre fans rejoyced, therefore, when a print was found and a DVD was released. Charles Ogle plays the Monster as a twisted and deformed conniver who delights in leering at his creator through the bed curtains (a scene which is still unsettling to this day) and is created in a vat of bubbling chemicals. Some brilliant special effects and a standout performance by Ogle make the Edison Frankenstein not merely a collector’s peice, but a genuine classic.

1. Boris Karloff in Frankenstein (1931)

Iconic is too small a word. One of those rare occasions when character and actor come together as one, Boris Karloff’s performance as the Monster in James Whale’s 1931 Frankenstein is one of the greatest performances in cinema. Able to show an astounding variety of emotions through the gresepaint and collodion, Karloff’s performance works on so many levels. For a start, he looks bloody scary, like a walking corpse, but couple this with the tragedy and pathos and childlike innocence of his performance and it’s easy to see why Karloff, almost eighty years on, remains the definitive Frankenstein Monster. The makeup works so well with Karloff’s face that it’s easy to forget that this wasn’t what Karloff really looked like; the acting shown by the relatively unknown at the time Karloff is astonishing. Easily one of the best performances in the horror genre, and one that, despite being almost totally unlike the creature she had created, Mary Shelley would probably have been proud of.

In the foreword to the second edition of her novel “Frankenstein,” Mary Shelly told her creature to “go forth into the world and multiply.” Even she, however, couldn’t possibly have imagined the impact upon popular culture her creation would have. Say the name “Frankenstein” to almost anyone in the world and they will instantly know what you’re talking about. Give me your thoughts below and check back soon for the next installment in our never ending top ten countdowns. End transmission.

I first heard about Cloverfield whilst sitting with my girlfriend in Pizza Hutt and when I read it described as “a Godzilla style monster movie” I damn near pissed my pants with glee.  The prospect of a giant monster movie featuring a Godzilla-like monster remorselessly destroying New York was enough to make me desperate to see the movie, especially since the last giant monster movie was Peter Jackson’s King Kong which, although good, certainly had it’s share of flaws.

But this looked to be something quite different. Rather than beating us over the head with a “feel sorry for the monster” message, this looked to be something more in line with stuff like the original Godzilla or Beast from Twenty Thousand Fathoms in that it starred an entirley remorseless monster doing what monsters do best – stomp the shit out of cities.

Filmed entirely in that Blair Witch/shaky handheld camcorder style, Cloverfield can be frustrating viewing at times, with thing often happening tantalisingly off-camera; our intrpid cameraman seems to have a knack of swinging round just in time to see something large and pissed off stomp behind a building denying us a really good look at the monster – but for an afficianado of monster movies this style was something of a treat. In these kinds of movies we’re more often than not stuck with naught but square jawed army generals and impossibly handsome scientists for company; the only “normal” people we see are glimpsed fleetingly fleeting in terror or being trampled underfoot. It’s nice, therefore, to see a giant monster movie from the perspective of the average joes, the people stuck at ground zero rather than the people in the ivory tower. 

Speaking of not seeing the monster, when we do get a decent look at the monster (pictured above) it’s a bit of a let down, looking like a cross between a spider and the Rancor from Return of the Jedi.  It’s certainly not going to become an icon as Godzilla and King Kong have become, and pretty much proves the Jaws rule of what you don’t see being scarier than what you do see.

A couple of paragraphs back I mentioned the words ground zero and I chose those words carefully. There was a lot of talk (read: nonsense) at the time Cloverfield was released that certain scenes were remenisent of the attacks on 9/11, and yes, I guess that if you want to look at it that way, then certain moments in the film were similar, but they were equally similar to scenes in Gorgo, Destroy All Monsters, Gamera vs. Barugon or any number of similar movies.

Cloverfield isn’t a movie you can watch over and over. It takes an age to get going, and when it finally does it can be frustrating viewing, but there’s much to enjoy – especially for a fan of the genre. Overall, it’s worth a watch – two, in fact, to see if you pick up all the shit you missed first time around.

10. Ginger Snaps (2000)

A lot of people loved this movie when it first came out. Me? I thought it was alright. A not-so thinly veiled puberty metaphor, there’s a lot to like in Ginger Snaps, including the lovely Katherine Isabelle (who later wound up as “girl in baseball cap” in Freddy vs. Jason) and the transformation scenes (always a highlight in werewolf movies) but the rotten sequels have brought the reputation of the original down a bit, but points for trying something different.

9. Wolf (1994)

After the sucess of Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, it was a forgone conclusion that the Wolf Man or werewolf would make another cinematic apperence. Problem is, werewolves have their basis in folklore and legend and have, unlike Dracula or Frankenstein’s Monster, no classic literary origins. So, rather than make a lavish (and, in my opinion, overblown) adaptation of a novel, the people behind Wolf made a modern day werewolf movie, starring the already lupine Jack Nicholson. Wolf isn’t a hugely well loved film, but it’s a film that I enjoy. The performances are great (and it’s always nice to see David Hyde Pierce) and the minimalist makeup is remeniscent of Werewolf of London. Well worth another look.

8. Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man (1943)

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man is the only film I can think of that acts as a sequel to two completley unrelated movies – Ghost of Frankenstein and The Wolf Man. Lon Chaney, Jr. returns in his most celebrated role as the doomed Larry Talbot and a frail-looking Bela Lugosi tucks tail and essays the role of the Frankenstein Monster – the part he famously turned his nose up at in 1931. One of the most fun movies ever made, FMTWM is a classic monster mash and the start of Universal’s monster team up movies. Not content with being a classic monster movie, FMTWM also boasts one of the best opening scenes in any of the classics as well as one of the best transformation scenes in any werewolf movie ever.

7. Werewolf of London (1935)

There had been werewolf movies before 1935, but as far as I’m concerned, Werewolf of London is the first *real* werewolf movie ever made. Starring noted stage actor Henry Hull and future “bride of Frankenstein” Valerie Hobson, Werewolf of London, to be fair, is more like a Jekyll and Hyde story than a werewolf story – a scientist is infected with “werewolfery” in Tibet and seeks a cure by day whilst stalking the streets of London by night. It’s probably a bit stilted and dated for modern sensibilities, but to genre fans there’s a lot to get excited about, not least Jack Peirce’s fantastic makeup for Henry Hull: has there ever been a more sinister looking werewolf? I don’t think so.  The film also has a stunning single shot with no cutaways transformation sequence that seems impossible for 1935.

6. Curse of the Werewolf (1961)

After The Curse of Frankenstein, Horror of Dracula and The Mummy, the next logical step for Hammer was to update the werewolf, put their own blood-stained stamp on it and start a werewolf franchise much like their Dracula, Frankenstein and Mummy series. Except that’s not what happened A lot of people are surprised to hear that Hammer only made one werewolf movie – and it’s a reasonably bloodless affair. Concentrating more on the backstory and human element of the story rather than balls to the wall lycanthopic madness, Curse of the Werewolf seems on paper like a boring movie, but it’s such a multilayered story and is so well written that the time flies by. When the werewolf finally does show up, it’s well worth the wait – Roy Aston’s design is, for my money, the best werewolf ever seen on screen.

5. Wolfen (1981)

Maybe it had something to do with the fortieth anniversary of The Wolf Man, or maybe there was something in the air that year, but whatever it was, 1981 was a banner year for werewolf movies with three classics all coming out within months of each other. The first lycanthrope from the class of ’81 on our list is the most serious in tone of the three and was the first one to be released: Wolfen. Lacking the satrical elements that made An American Werewolf in London and The Howling so popular, Wolfen is however an intelligent and criminally underrated horror movie that was sadly overshadowed by the two werewolf movies that followed later in the same year. Hell of a tagline, too.

4. Dog Soldiers (2002)

When this movie first came out, people were shitting themselves at the originality of the concept. It’s not a hugely original idea – the military have been staring down monsters since King Kong (not to mention the brilliance of cowboys vs dinosaurs in The Valley of Gwangi) but in the horror genre, sometimes originality isn’t important. What is important is re-invention; taking old ideas and putting a fresh new stamp on them, making them seem like brand new ideas. And that’s what Dog Soldiers did to great effect. A bunch of almost comically Grant Mitchell-esque British squaddies are trapped in an Evil Dead style cabin the the woods by werewolves, horror, gore and hilarity ensues. One of those horror movies that non-horror fans love, Dog Soldiers is not only a great horror movie, but also great fun.

3. An American Werewolf in London (1981)

John Landis is a director who, like John Carpenter, has lost his mojo over recent years. The man responsible for Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Coming to America, Trading Places, ¡Three Amigos!, Spies Like Us (“doctor? doctor!”) the classic video for “Thriller” by Michael Jackson and, of course, An American Werewolf in London has all but vanished from the Hollywood radar of late, and that’s a shame because when he’s good, he’s really good. An American Werewolf in London probably represents him at the height of his powers as a director, blurring the line between horror and comedy like the James Whale of his generation. A cast of relative unknowns (except the unbearably cute Jenny Agutter as the love interest) and a geniune feeling of unease in the early scenes coupled with fish-out-of-water-ness in the later scenes makes American Werewolf a minor classic.

2. The Howling (1981)

Blasphemy! The Howling better than American Werewolf? What’ve you been smoking, Michaels!? Well, pot and Marlboros, but that’s neither here nor there. As for The Howling, I saw it long before I ever saw American Werewolf and since this is my site I’m placing it above AAWIL for purely nostalgic reasons. Though both directors are fans of classic horror, i think that Joe Dante had a better understanding of what makes classic horror so great and made a film that works as both a contemporary horror and also as a tribute to the golden age. Featuring characters named after directors of classic werewolf movies and cameos from golden age stars such as John Carradine and Patrick Macnee, The Howling presents us with a far more interesting view of lycanthropy than in AAWIL and, for my money, is much more fun. The less said about the sequels the better though…

1. The Wolf Man (1941)

No, not the 2010 remake, the original 1941 classic which, sixty years on, has yet to be bettered. But then, how can you get better than Lon Chaney, Jr., Claude Rains, Evelyn Ankers and Bela Lugosi? Jack Pierce, master of movie makeup and Universal’s real Dr. Frankenstein, created one of his most famous monsters and Lon Chaney, Jr. gave a career best performance as the tragic Larry Talbot, the prodigal son who returns to his ancestral seat only to become a werewolf. The intelligent script for The Wolf Man by Curt Siodmak gave us much of what has become accepted werewolf lore – the idea of a silver bullet killing a werewolf and the famous ditty about “even a man who is pure in heart” being just two examples. Endlessly homaged and parodied, not to mention the recent remake, time has done very little to diminish the movie’s power and its impact on the horror genre cannot be overstated.

Honorable mention to:
Silver Bullet (1985)
If you’re a genre fan, there are certain things that, when you see them on a film poster or DVD cover, act as warning flag that tell you the film might not be any good: it’s a Steven King adaptation; it’s produced by Dino DeLaurentis; it stars Gary Busey and Corey Haim; it’s the director’s one and only feature film. All of these apply to Silver Bullet, but somehow it manages to bypass the warning flags and become a decent movie.

So there you have it, the top ten werewolf movies (plus one). No doubt you’ll have seen at least one or two of these, but they’re all worth tracking down if you haven’t done so already. In any case, it’s good to be back! End transmission.

10. The Monster Squad

Any kid who grew up loving monster movies saw and loved this movie. A group of kids teaming up with Frankenstein’s Monster and Van Helsing to take out Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolf Man and the Creature from the Black Lagoon? Yes, please. A sequel, of course, could’ve brought the Count back with a bunch of new monsters for round two, but sadly our monster kid prayers were never answered.

9. Enter the Dragon

Bruce Lee could’ve been the Asian James Bond had Enter the Dragon been sequelled and made into a series. Unfortunatley, the little issue of Bruce’s death got in the way and what could have been an awesome film series was never to be. Enter the Dragon plays a lot like a Bond movie – the villain even has a Persian Cat – and it’s easy to imagine a series of four or five movies starring Lee being sent to take down various chop socky badguys.

8. The Rocketeer

The Rocketeer is a great characte and a great comic but a pretty forgetable movie made the character pretty much unknown amongst casual movie fans these days. Given the chance to develop with another movie or two, the Rocketeer could easily be as well known today as Indiana Jones or James Bond.  A series about a guy with a jetpack vs all manner of nefearious Nazis and Commies – sounds good to me.

7. Cloverfield

I still hold out hope for a Cloverfield sequel.  The way I see it is we either continue the story or we see the first movie from another angle, be it another group of people with a camera or in a more traditional monster movie style, but either way, I want to see more. The cool thing with Cloverfield was that we, as monster movie fans, know the granite jawed generals ad bespectacled scientists were hard at work somewhere, but we never saw them. A sequel (or, more acurately, an “equal”) told in a more conventional manner would be cool to see.

6. Dracula

The 1979 version starring the great Frank Langella here, I for one would love to see the continuation of the story. The film strongly hints that Dracula perhaps survives the film but, sadly, Langella wasn’t interested – he had played Dracula for years on Broadway before appearing in the movie and he felt it was time to move on. A shame, but not an insurmountble obstacle since Langella was suceeded in the role on stage by none other than Jeremy Brett. Jeremy Brett as Dracula in an unashamedly lavish and romantic sequel to an unashamedly lavish and romantic original? If only.

5. The Shadow

Like Dracula, the ending of The Shadow strongly hints at a sequel, but alas it was never to be. The Shadow is one of my favorite comic book characters so it’s perhaps selfishness on my part to wish there had been at least one sequel, but still, it would’ve been great to see Alec Baldwin back as the living shadow. With a history dating back to 1930, story ideas were hardly thin on the ground, but the film wasn’t the runaway sucess the studio hoped it would be, so any and all sequels were nixed. A real shame – and maybe they could’ve even fixed the makeup and made it less goofy.

4. Conan the Destroyer

To be fair, a new Conan movie is coming out next year, but Oliver Stone and John Millius’ original plan of doing a Conan movie every two years or so and making it an ongoing series a-la 007 sadly never came to fruition. The idea was to bring the Governator back and use a new Robert Howard inspired plot each time, but the failure of Conan the Destroyer to set the box office on fire killed that idea deader than one of Conan’s enemies. There was talk of a new Conan movie with Triple H a while ago, but nothing came of it and, best of all, there were rumours of a movie starring Arnie as King Conan flew around but, sadly, it never happened.

3. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Diamonds Are Forever doesn’t count. What I would loved to have seen is a continuation of the story laid out in OHMSS, starring George Lazenby, and showing Bond trying to deal with the death of Tracy, messing up a mission and being fired by M and then setting out, License to Kill-style, to find and kill Blofeld. Bond in DAF doesn’t seem to give a toss that Blofeld killed his wife, trading barbs with the guy like they’re old sparring partners.

2. Army of Darkness

Regardless of wether we’re talking about the original S-Mart ending or the “I slept too long” ending, Army of Darkness is wide open for a sequel. Ash in the present day wiping out Deadites? Yes, please. Ash in post-apocolyptic England wiping out Deadites? Yes, please. Either way, I’m a happy guy. Or not, as the case may be, since a sequel was never made. With a budget of $11 million and a domestic gross of $11.5 million it’s no surprise that a sequel was never forthcoming, but a guy can dream, right? The real question, of course, is wether it would be called Evil Dead 3 or Army of Darkness 2…

1. Return of the Jedi

You’d think I’d have learned my lesson after the prequel trilogy, but I can’t help but wish Lucas would lure Harrison Ford back into the old waistcoat and convince Mark Hamill to wield a lightsaber three more times and give us episodes VII, VIII and IX. Timothy Zahn already wrote a sequel trilogy, so the stories are there, and it’s not as through Lucas doesn’t have the money, so what’s the hold up? I sat through Indiana Jones 4, so the way I see it is Lucas and Ford *owe* me at least one more Star Wars movie. But please, no Ewoks or Gungans this time, I’m begging you.

Admittedly, if sequels to these movies had been made, there’s every chance they would’ve sucked, but still, it’s fun to imagine what might have been. In any case, gimmie your thoughts below. Something about comics next, I promise. No, really! End transmission.

10. Jaws: The Revenge (1987): “This time it’s personal.”

For sheer ridiculosity, the infamous Jaws 4 tagline kickstarts our list. “This time it’s personal?” Isn’t this a film about a friggin’ fish? How can a bloody fish hold a grudge? Of course, the sensible conclusion is that the tagline refers to the Brody family, not the shark, but that’s no fun. That said, in the film, the shark follows Ellen Brody’s plane from Amity to the Bahamas, so maybe the tag does refer to the shark after all.

9. The Prey (1984): “It’s not human, and it’s got an axe!”

Bullshit. As anyone who’s sat through this craptastic movie can tell you, the killer IS human and only uses an axe once, but when the tagline is this awesome, does it really matter? Of course not – as long as it got bums in seats, who the hell cares?

8. Night of the Demons (1988): “Angela is having a party. Jason and Freddy are too afraid to come, but you’ll have a hell of a time.”

Proof positive that horror movies were doing the self referential thing long before Scream, the tagline for Night of the Demons always makes me smile. The film itself is a pretty standard tits n’ gore affair which was remade not long ago with Shannon Elizabeth and Edward “what happened to my career?” Furlong but it – quite predictably – flopped.

7. The Evil Dead (1981): “The ultimate experience in gruelling terror!”

A tagline every bit as over the top and gloriously excessive as the film it was advertising, the first Evil Dead movie doesn’t exactly live up to the hype, but it’s still a great, if a little slow to start, movie. I almost typed “the film that made a star out of Bruce Campbell” but I think, “the film that made a cult icon out of Bruce Campbell” is more appropriate, The Evil Dead remains a fantasticaly creative debut from Sam Spider-Man Raimi.

6. Polergeist (1982): “They’re here.”

Right, first things first, I don’t like the movie Poltergeist. It starts off promisingly enough, but it all gets a bit sweet and cutesy with midget mediums and that whole sequence with the ghosts coming down the stairs.  Plus, the amount of product placement makes it seem like one long advert for Star Wars.  Tobe Hooper hasn’t made a good movie since his first and comparing that to this, I can’t bring myself to believe he had much say in the direction of Poltergeist. It feels much more like a Speilberg movie than something from the director of Texas Chain Saw. That said, the tagline’s a classic, working on much the same level as Halloween‘s.

5. Nightmare on Elm Street (1984): “If Nancy doesn’t wake up screaming, she won’t wake up at all.”

At our movie nights, my mates and I are currently working our way though the Nightmare on Elm Street series. We’re at number five at the moment and so far my favorites have been one and three. Two has a wierd subtext (if you’ve seen it you’ll know what I mean) and four is, well it’s ok, I suppose. Anyway, the tagline for the original tells you everything you need to know about the film you’re going to see and sums up the movie’s atmosphere of uneasiness perfectly.

4. Hellraiser (1987): “He’ll tear your soul apart.”

Speaking of movie nights, our host James “glory hole” Boyd (sorry mate) is a huge fan of the Hellraiser franchise and it’s easy to see why. The Cenobites, especially Pinhead, are some of the coolest and most scary horror characters ever. The best thing about the Hellraiser tagline though is the implication that Pinhead is a new kind of monster – previous guys would tear your body apart, but this guy’ll tear your fuckin’ soul apart.

3. The Thing (1982): “Man is the warmest place to hide.”

It’s not a warning, it’s not a threat, it’s a statement of fact which hints at the suggestion that, should the Thing decide to hide in you, there’s not going to be a very great deal you can do about it. John Carpenter’s best film (for my money) and one of the few remakes to surpass the original, there’s talk of a prequel coming out in the near future. Dunno how true that is, but if a prequel does come out, there’s no way it’ll have a tagline half as good as this.

2. Re-Animator (1985): “Herbert West has a good head on his shoulders… and another one on his desk.”

The best taglines reflect the film they’re advertising and this is one of the very best – as darkly comedic as the film itself. This tagline reminds me of the It’s Alive tagline in that it’s more like a sick joke than a peice of horror movie advertising. The 1990 sequel Bride of Re-Animator had a great tagline too: “Date. Mate. Re-Animate.” Brilliance.

1. The Fly (1986): “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

Is it just me, or does the poster for The Fly remind you of the poster of Alien? In any case, “be afraid – be very afraid” is quite possibly the best tagline in any genre and in any decade. It’s so deceptivley simple and yet carries with it such a sense of impending dread that runs paralell to the feeling of inevitable doom that hangs over the film. Jeff Goldblum (another “is it just me:” does Goldblum remind anyone else of Adam West or am I alone here?) plays the titular character, but it is Geena Davis who delivers the line that was used on the poster. One of the most famous lines in movie history, I’ve heard the line from people who’ve never ever heard of, much less seen, The Fly. Classic stuff.

The nineties weren’t a great decade for horror so I don’t think we’ll be seeing a third part to this series, but I think the sheer volume of awesome the seventies and the eighties delivered more than makes up for it. No need for an honorable mentions list this time, but if you can think of any great eighties taglines I’ve missed, let me know. End transmission.

10. The Exorcist (1973): “Something almost beyond comprehension is happeneing to a girl on this street, in this house… and a man has been sent for as a last resort. This man is The Exorcist.”

The Exorcist often gets quite a bit of crap slung at it for not being as scary as its reputation says it is, but for my money it’s one of the all time greats. The tagline, like the film, stirs up an eerie sense of impending doom that perfectly suits the moody, minimalistic look of the poster.

9. The Omen (1976): “If something frightening happens to you today, think about it. It may be The Omen.”

This could’ve been one of the best taglines in any genre, but the akward wording loses it points. Something more along the lines of “if something strange happens today, don’t ignore it: it may be The Omen” would’ve worked so much better. In any case, The Omen is a classic and it’s got Gregory Peck in it, so that’s always good.

8. Zombie Flesh Eaters AKA Zombi 2 AKA Zombie &etc. (1979): “We are going to eat you!”

Direct, to the point, and bloody terrifying. This film’s tagline is less a threat and more a statement of fact, as in, “we’re zombies, you’re tasty, we’re hungry, you’re fucked.” Brilliant.

7. Westworld (1973): “Where nothing can possibly go worng.”

I know it’s debateable wether or not Westworld is a horror film, but the tagline is a work of genius. At first glance you might not even notice the joke, but once you see it, it tells you everything you need to know about the film in six simple words. Michael Crichton’s dry run for Jurassic Park, Westworld is part western, part sci fi and, yes, part horror with Yul Brynner stalking his victims in classic slasher movie style. In fact, I would even argue that the Robot Gunslinger is worthy of being included alongside guys like Michael Myers and Jason Vorhees.

6. Halloween (1978): “He night he came home.”

Wait, the night WHO came home? Where’s home? HE comes home on Halloween? Who the fuck is HE? This movie sounds awesome! Job done. It’s a real shame that John Carpenter has lost his mojo in recent years, because from 1976 to about 1988 he was damn near untouchable.

5. Alien (1979): “In space, no one can hear you scream.”

Ok, so wether or not Alien is a horror film is maybe debatable (if you’re an idiot) but for my money it’s as much a horror film as anything else on this list. The isolation of the characters in the film is reflected in the eerie sparseness of the poster and the terror they will face whilst utterly cut off from humanity is reflected in the bleak tagline. Much imitated, and much parodied, Alien has one of the best taglines ever.

4. Dawn of the Dead (1978): “When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth.”

Commonly accepted as Romero’s best zombie movie (though as far as I’m concerned Day is better) it’s the only film on our list that takes its tagline from a line of dialouge in the movie. In one of the movie’s few quiet moments Ken Foree’s character Peter tells a story about his grandfather, a vodoo priest, who used to tell him that “when there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth.” It’s one of the creepiest taglines in cinema history and almost as iconic as the movie itself.

3. Jaws 2 (1978): “Just when you though it was safe to go back in the water.”

One of the few movie taglines that’s more famous that the movie itself (it’s only contenders are Alien and The Fly – “be afraid – be very afraid) Jaws 2 is a sorely underrated film that gets a bad rep based soley on the fact that it’s not Jaws. But fuck that, Jaws 2 is a solid movie and the tagline is a classic.

2. The Last House on the Left (1972): “To avoid fainting keep repeating, it’s only a movie… only a movie… only a movie… only a movie…”

Three taglines for the price of one here: the one above; “it rests on 13 acres of earth over the very centre of Hell;” and “Mari, seventeen is dying – even for her the worst is yet to come.” Last House on the Left is regarded by some as a horror classic, but to others it’s a tad craptastic.  For me though, it’s somewhere inbetween.  A flawed classic, if you will.   That said, the fourth wall breaking tagline is genius.

1. It’s Alive (1974): “There’s only one thing wrong with the Davis baby… It’s Alive.”

I love movie taglines that incorporate the title of the movie, and no tagline did it better than this one. It’s like the punchline to some monumentally sick joke, but more than that, it plays on the fear that all new parents have about their children – that something will be wrong with them. If the only thing wrong with the Davis baby is that it’s alive, then goddamn, I wanna see this baby! The movie’s not great, but as far as I’m concerned that just makes the tagline ever better since it almost tricks you out of your money and gets you into the cinema.

Honorable mentions, in no particular order, to:

1. Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972): “Flesh crawls! Blood curdles! Phibes lives!”
2. Black Christmas (1974): “If this movie doesn’t make your skin crawl… it’s on too tight!”
3. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974): “Who will survive and what will be left of them?”
4. Phantasm (1979): “If this one doesn’t scare you, you’re already dead!”
5. The Amityville Horror (1979): “For God’s sake, get out!”
6. Carrie (1976): “If you’ve got a taste for terror, take Carrie to the prom.”
7. The Hills Have Eyes (1977): “The lucky ones died first.”
8. King Kong (1976): “The most exciting original motion picture of all time.” (Note: the sheer audacity of calling a remake “the most exciting original motion picture” makes me die laughing, hence the inclusion of this rather prosaic tagline on our list.)
9. The Omega Man (1971): “The last man on Earth… is not alone!”
10. Suspiria (1977): “The only thing more terrifying than the last 12 minutes of this movie are the first 92.”

So anyway, there you have it. The top ten – plus ten others – seventies movie taglines. Did I miss out your favorite, or are you heartbroken to see your favorite banished to the honorable mentions? Comments below, ta. Coming soon – the top ten eighties horror taglines. And maybe something about comics. Anyway. End transmission.

10. LIVE AND LET DIE (1973)

Yes, THAT Live and Let Die. Roger Moore’s debut as James Bond is not one of my favorite Bond movies, but it does feature a traditional voodoo zombie in the form of Baron Samedi – a seemingly unkillable villain who uses occult magic to dispose of his enemies. Shot in the head, stabbed with a machete and locked in a coffin filled with venomous snakes – but come the end of the film, the time in the film where Bond is usually on top of the world and lying in bed with his latest squeeze, Baron Samedi is seen, very much alive and cackling demonically. The only supernatural villain that Bond has ever faced and the only villain I can think of offhand to survive til the end credits.

9. THE GHOST BREAKERS (1940)

Sure it’s a Bob Hope comedy, but like the best horror comedies, the comedy is played for laughs and the horror is played straight. Unlike most horror comedies, the film manages to create a uniquely eerie atmosphere – helped by the black and white photography and the commanding presence of Noble Johnson (most famous as the native chief in King Kong) as the film’s main zombie. One of the classic Hollywood comedies, The Ghost Breakers (and the film it sequelled, The Cat and the Canary) inspired Walt Disney’s Haunted Mansion attraction at the various Disney theme parks.

8. DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)

After Night of the Living Dead hinted at a sci-fi explination for the reaminated corpses stalking the earth, the shopping mall-based sequel Dawn of the Dead hinted at a supernatural explination for the zombies. In fact, Dawn is the first time the zombies are even referred to as “zombies.” In one of the film’s most famous scenes, Peter (played by Keenan’s dad from Keenan and Kel) remembers the words of his grandfather – a voodoo priest – “when there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.”

5. DAY OF THE DEAD (1985)

What comes after the Dawn of the Dead? Why the Day of the Dead, of course, and while there’s no supernatural explination at hand in this third installment of Romero’s zombie saga, it does feature a more traditional zombie slave type character in the rehabilitated and somewhat house trained Bub. As loveable as a reanimated corpse hungry for human flesh can be, Bub is the private experiment of Dr. Logan (or “Frankenstein” as he’s dubbed by the other characters) and is much more like the zombies of the pre-Romero age than the brain munchers that have come since.

6. DEAD AND BURIED (1981)

A zombie film that needs to be more widely viewed, Dead and Buried is a slow burner, yes, but when it pays off it REALLY pays off. With Melody Flash Gordon Anderson and a young Robert “Freddy Kruger” Englund in the cast and possibly the single most creepy animatronic Stan Wilson ever built, the film plays like a zombie version of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers (itself a zombie film in a way). Managing to invoke that Val Lewton-esque sense of impending doom that so few eighties horror movies had, Dead and Buried is a film that definatley deserves to be more well known.

5. ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS (1979)

Variably known as Zombie, Zombi 2, Island of the Living Dead, Zombie Island and, most bizarrley, Woodoo, Zombie Flesh Eaters started life as a sequel to George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, but soon, under the direction of Lucio Fulci, became something quite different. Rather than a group of the undead and a group of survivors duking it out in somewhere uniquely American such as a cabin in the woods or a shopping mall, Fulci starts the film in the US but swiftly shifts the action to the zombie’s old stomping ground: the Caribbean. Most famous for the now infamous scene in which a zombie fights a shark (yes, you read that correctly) and a brilliant effects sequence in which a woman is impaled eye-first on a splintered peice of wood, Zombie Flesh Eaters is perhaps a victim of it’s own noteriety. Branded a video nasty in the UK, it is only recently that the film has been recognised as the genre classic it is.

4. I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE (1943)

1943 and Val Lewton has a problem: he’s been told his latest project is to be called I Walked With A Zombie. He’s been in tight spots before – when the studio gave him the title Cat People they were expecting Lon Chaney not Simone Simon, but how can he turn I Walked With A Zombie from a lurid Universal knock-off into something more in line with his own brand of pyschological horror? Simple – don’t make it a zombie picture at all? Instead of shambling corpses or melodramatic zombie masters, Val Lewton gave us a classic depiction of Caribbean mysticism and voodoo. The iconic figure of Carre-Four, the towering zombie guard, (one of the most instantly recongisable images in classic horror) and the brilliantly ambigous ending make I Walked With A Zombie well worth checking out.

3. WHITE ZOMBIE (1932)

Perhaps the first zombie movie ever made, the title White Zombie tells you all you need to know about the public image of the zombie pre-Night of the Living Dead. A zombie was one thing, but a WHITE zombie?! Well, that’s something quite different. An early example of indie horror filmmaking, White Zombie was shot on the Universal lot using borrowed costumes and props with Bela Lugosi in the lead as the voodoo master Murder Legendre. Bela Lugosi as a Haitian might be a bit hard to swallow, but Bela sinks his teeth into the role with his usual abandon. The film may seem a little hokey to today’s audiences, but it does generate a palpable atmosphere of dread and, credit where it is due, the Universal sets are used a lot better than in a lot of the Universals. Remembered today mostly as the film that gave Rob Zombie (a man who should never be allowed to so much as hold a movie camera again in his life, but that’s another matter entirely) the name of his band, White Zombie is a bit of a forgotten classic, but its role in the evolution of the zombie genre (and as a precursor to modern independent cinema) cannot be overstated.

2. THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW (1988)

You know, I’ve got a theory as to why zombies are so scary. Once you get a a certain age and you realise that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Jesus are all just fictional characters, Dracula and the Wolf Man just aren’t that scary anymore – after all, why be scared of something that’s not real, right? Problem is, zombies fucking exist. There’s even pictures of them:

That guy? He’s Clairvius Narcisse and he was (or perhaps is) an honest-to-god 100% geniune zombie. May 2, 1963 was the date of Clarvius’ funeral and he was buried under six feet of Hatian earth. Problem is a couple days later he wandered back to his village and began working in the fields with no memory of his past life. Turns out our man Clarvius was under the spell of a local witch doctor who had brought about all the symptoms of death by poisoning his victim with a cheimical concotion only to dig him up and put his undead ass to work. What does this undeniably creepy story have to do with The Serpent and the Rainbow? Well, the man who brought Clarvius’ story to the West was a guy named Wade Keller and his book, “The Serpent and the Rainbow” provided the inspiration for the film; one of the creepiest and most offbeat zombie movies ever.

1. PLAGUE OF THE ZOMBIES (1966)

Hammer only made one zombie movie and I suspect it’s because they knew they’d never top this one. Plague of the Zombies is the “missing link” between the South Seas zombie movie and the zombie invasion/infestation movie – an eeeevil country squire with brilliant sideburns returns from Haiti and uses his newly learned voodoo knowledge to enslave newly dead villagers to work in his tin mine and make him rich. Taking the zombie away from his home turf and into the English home counties, characterisation takes precedent over buckets of gore, but the film is not without its scares – in particular a four minute dream sequence that all but invented the classic zombie movie “rising from the grave” sequence. Filled, like most Hammer movies, with solid character actors who could act rings around most of today’s “stars” and full of tension and atmosphere – witness the scene where the voodoo master steals through the village at dawn – Plague of the Zombies is one of the lesser known Hammers (no Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee) and yet is one of the best. In fact, not only is it one of the best Hammer movies, it’s one of the best horror movies and certainly the best voodoo zombie movie ever made.

From 007 to Hammer horror via Bob Hope, George Romero and Bela Lugosi, the traditional zombie movie is a criminally underlooked genre – and one which sorely needs to make a comeback. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m getting a bit bored of flesh eating zombies. It’s about time – especially in light of recent events – that the traditional zombie reasserts himself; or rather, his voodoo master orders him to do it. Agree? Disagree? Gimmie your thoughts below. End transmission.

10. DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE (1971)

This alternate take on the classic Jekyll and Hyde story was a vehicle for Ralph Bates, the young actor Hammer were grooming as the new Christopher Lee. As suggested by the title, the plot involves Ralph Bates’ Jekyll transmogrifying into Martine Beswick’s “Edwina” Hyde. Obvious opportunities for seventies Hammer nudity aside, the plot involves sister Hyde being responsible for the Jack the Ripper killings and also includes a Burke and Hare sideplot. Check it out for the transformation sequence which is one of the most brauva sequences in any Hammer movie.

9. THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF (1961)

Compared to later werewolf films like The Howling and An American Werewolf in London, Hammer’s sole entry to the wolf man genre seems like a slow moving affair, and to be fair, it kinda is. The werewolf (my personal favorite movie werewolf) doesn’t show up until two thirds of the way through and we only get a good look at in in the last five minutes or so, but the plot in engaging enough to carry us through between shock scenes and Oliver Reed turns in a good performance as the haunted young lycanthrope. Kudos to Hammer for not resorting to the the tired old “keep off the moors” cliches and setting the story in 18th century Spain.

8. THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1957)

Hammer’s first colour movie (not to mention the first colour Frankenstein movie) and the film that kicked Hammer into high gear. Until The Curse of Frankenstein, Hammer’s output had been restricted to creaky black and white movies that are almost unwatchable today. Curse was controversial at the time for it’s sex and gore which was shocking at the time, but today it amounts to little more than a bit of cleavage and a bit of blood on Frankenstein’s apron. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee became the (then) modern-day Karloff and Lugosi and the floodgates opened with versions of Dracula and The Mummy following close behind.

7. THE REPTILE (1966)

Not one of Hammer’s best known movies, but undoutedly one of their creepiest. A nice twist on the traditional werewolf here, with Jaqueline Pearce becoming a snake-woman. The film’s main flaw is that it plays like a mystery story but we, the audience, are fully aware what is going on, causing much shouting at the screen at characters who can’t seem to put two and two together. Nonetheless, the makeup job by Roy Ashton for the titualr monster is great and still unnerving to this day. Filmed back-to-back with The Plague of the Zombies, and sharing some of the same cast and sets, Plague is the better film, but The Reptile is still classic Hammer.

6. FRANKENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED (1969)

Hammer’s fifth Frankenstein film was also their best with Peter Cushing reprising his role as the Baron and the always great Freddie Jones as his latest creation. Of all Hammer’s Frankenstein movies, Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed shows the Baron at his most ruthless – in Curse and Revenge of Frankenstein he was a misguided scientist, in Evil of Frankenstein he was almost the hero of the peice and in Frankenstein Created Woman he was almost a father figure to his creation – but in …Destroyed, the Baron schemes, blackmails, murders and even rapes his way to the fufilment of his mad ideas. Both Peter Cushing and Veronica Carlson were against the scene where Frankenstein rapes Carlon’s character, but the scene was inserted at the insistence of the American distributors.

5. THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (1959)

It’s only fair that Hammer’s take on Sherlock Holmes’ most famous case plays up the supernatural elements of the story and incorporates such horrific scenes as a tarantula attacking Christopher Lee and a cave-in in a tin mine, but despite several changes to the story, Hammer’s Hound is one of the – perhaps the very – best adaptation of the classic novel. Peter Cushing makes an excellent and somewhat prickly Holmes whilst Andre Morell’s performance as Watson was revolutionary in Holmesian cinema – taking the character away from the overweight bumbler of the Universal Holmes series and giving us a Watson more in line with the young, dynamic doctor of the books.

4. THE DEVIL RIDES OUT (1968)

Based on a novel by Dennis Wheatley and adapted by Richard “I Am Legend” Matheson, The Devil Rides Out is Christopher Lee’s personal favorite Hammer film and it’s easy to see why. After playing Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy, Fu Manchu and Rasputin, Lee was given a rare opportunity to play the hero, in this case the Duc de Richleau, master of the occult. Parts of the film – especially the Satanic “orgy” – are dated and a bit on the silly side, but when the film’s good, it’s really good. The materialisation of the black guy in the nappy (scarlier than it sounds) is really creepy and the build up the the apperance of the Angel of Death is well mounted (a pity the scene falls apart as soon as the Angel of Death appears). Charles Grey plays the evil Mocata, based on Aleister Crowley, and a worthy advisary to Lee’s Duc – interestingly both men played Sherlock Holmes’ brother Mycroft and also both played Bond villains.

3. THE PLAUGE OF THE ZOMBIES (1966)

Of all the countless films starring flesh eating, brain hungry zombies it’s sometimes nice to watch a movie where the zombies are less interested in eating people and more interested in mining tin. Yes, we’re in pre-Romero territory here and the zombies aren’t canabalistic deadites but rather undead slaves, brought back from the grave by voodoo. John Carson plays the wonderfully sleazy Squire Hamilton, who uses his knowledge of Haitian black magic to enslave the recently dead in his tin mine. Zombie cinema had been somewhat prosaic before Plague, which was the first film to show the undead rising from the grave in a still chilling four minute dream sequence featuring some genuinley creepy zombies. The classic zombie movie shot of the hand reaching through the earth? First seen in Plague of the Zombies.

2. THE MUMMY (1959)

After the sucess of their Frankenstein and Dracula movies, Hammer decided to keep milking the Univeral monsters cashcow and make their version of The Mummy. Taking their cue (wisely I feel) from the mummy sequels rather than the Karloff-starring original, The Mummy sees Christopher Lee under wraps as Kharis, the reanimated Egyptian priest, and Peter Cushing as archaologist John Banning who’s wife just so happens to be the spitting image of Kharis’ long lost love Princess Ananka. A bizzarley American police inspector teams up with Cushing to stop the Mummy, but, this being a horror film, the task of killing the undead is far from easy. Undoubtedly the best mummy movie ever made, The Mummy holds up better than a lot of the early Hammer movies and is essential viewing for genre fans.

1. HORROR OF DRACULA (1958)

Now, before anyone says anything, I know Horror of Dracula is the film’s American title and that it was titled simply Dracula in the UK, but Horror of Dracula looks better sitting on my shelf next to Curse of Frankenstein and, for my money, Horror of Dracula is a better title. Dracula is a 1931 film starring Bela Lugosi that was completley fang free and completley bloodless; Horror of Dracula is a 1958 film starring Christopher Lee that is cleavagetasistic and gory as hell. Well, for it’s day. The Horror… prefix let’s you know what you’re in for. Whatever you want to call it though, it’s a classic of its kind and quite possibly the best Dracula movie ever made. Christopher Lee is a dynamic and vigorous Count and Peter Cushing is at his best as a brilliant and energetic Van Helsing. As far removed from the stagey 1931 version as you can get, Hammer’s Dracula is as exciting and vibrant today as it was in 1958. A masterpeice.

Honorable mentions in no particular order to:
1. DRACULA, PRINCE OF DARKNESS (1966)
2. THE REVENGE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1958)
3. BRIDES OF DRACULA (1960)
4. THE VAMPIRE LOVERS (1970)
5. THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN (1957)
6. SHE (1965)
7. FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL (1974)
8. SCARS OF DRACULA (1970)
9. THE GORGON (1964)
10. ONE MILLION YEARS, B.C. (1966)

From Dracula to Sherlock Holmes, from Frankenstein to zombies and Satan himself, the Hammer horror movies have a power and a presence that time has not diminished. Like the Universal and silent horror lists, if you’ve not seen these movies, they come strongly recommended and are readily available on DVD. Check them out if you haven’t seen them and, as always, leave any comments below. End transmission.